Remember Me to Hogwarts
by Sing-my-heart-out
Summary: It's the last year at Hogwarts for the Marauders. James is Hell bent on getting the girl, Sirius' only goal is to make life a living Hell for Snivellus, Remus is trying to save them all from being expelled, and Peter is really just along for the ride.
1. The Seventh Year Begins

Disclaimer: We do not own many of the characters. We own: Briah Travystar, Rose Joplin, Emma Burton, Justin Sumpter, and Samantha Bennett. Those are the only main characters who we made up. We also know that we used a lot of celebrity last names. So sue us (but please don't actually).

The Seventh Year Begins 

Lily Evans stared out the window of her mother's Ford Sedan as they pulled up to King's Crosse station in London, amazed that she would be entering her seventh and final year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

" . . . And when you finish school we'll find you a nice job as an accountant or something." Mrs. Evans Rambled on.

"Mum, I'm a Witch, I want to work at the Ministry of Magic." Lily said in exasperation. " Plus, we've gone over this, I don't want to be an accountant, it's dull and I'm no good at math."

This was a common occurrence between Lily and her mother. Mrs. Evans just couldn't seem to grasp the notion that Witches didn't need to be accountants.

"Well, an accountant is a good solid career." Mrs. Evans said, putting her car keys in her purse. "Just think about it while you're at school. Alright love?"

Lily sighed, "Fine, I'll think about it." As she got out of the car she saw Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew start walking towards the barrier between platforms nine and ten. She sighed inwardly; if half the Marauders were here, then the other two were sure to arrive soon.

She called out to Remus. "Hello Remus. Where are your partners in crime?"

Remus turned around to talk to her. "What? You mean James hasn't asked you out yet today?"

"Well, I haven't seen him yet. Which is probably the only reason why." Lily knew it was only a matter of until she had to deal with the boy who had asked her out every single weekend since she was fifteen.

"Onward, my pack mule!" Sirius cried jubilantly from his perch on James' back. "And don't drop my luggage this time."

"I am not your pack mule. We've been through this."

"Oh yes you are, my cute little fluffy pack mule of joy."

"I hate you."

James and Sirius, completely ignoring the looks they were attracting from their muggle audience, ran through the barrier at top speed (well, as fast as James could run while carrying Sirius and both their luggage).

"We are supposed to inconspicuous when entering the platform." Came Lily's voice from the side of the train.

"It was all him." James said pointing wildly at Sirius. "I told him 'I don't think that this is a good idea, the muggles will notice if we run through the barrier with you riding on my back.' But would he listen? Oh no."

"That's not how it happened!" Sirius contradicted, "you said 'I am not your pack mule!' and then I said 'oh yes you are my cute little fluffy pack mule of joy!' and then you declared your hatred of me."

"Sirius?"

"Yes Jamesiepoo?"

"I will never forgive you for this."

With that stated James grabbed Sirius around the neck and began to wrestle him in the middle of the walkway.

Lily rolled her eyes and turned away in disgust.

Just then Briah, Sirius' childhood friend from his neighborhood; a small girl with auburn hair, and violet eyes walked up behind Sirius and smacked him playfully on the butt.

"Hey Padbutt!" She said with a smirk.

"Briah!" Sirius said in an exasperated tone, "how many times must I tell you not to call me that?"

"Many more, I'm afraid. I just find it so amusing."

"Lily! You are looking lovely today. As usual!" James interjected, before they could really get going.

"What do you want James?" Lily asked turning back to him.

"What do you think he wants, Lils?" Briah intersected.

"Do you want to go to Hogsmeade with me then?" James asked in a hopeful voice.

"No, I do not want to go _any_where with you."

"Harsh." Sirius muttered to Briah, out of the corner of his mouth.

"Sirius" Briah said turning to him with a murderous look upon her face.

"Yes Cheese dear?" He asked innocently.

"Shut up now."

Just then the whistle on top the Hogwarts Express blew alerting the students to get on the train before it left.

"Come on Briah, let's go find the other girls and grab a compartment before we get stuck with these losers." Lily said turning her back on the crestfallen James.

"Bye Padbutt!" Briah cried jovially as she bounced after Lily.

"Lets go find Moony and Wormtail, Prongs."

"Will she never say yes?" James asked Sirius in a defeated tone, as he trudged after him.

"Don't let it get you down. We are the Marauders. We can have any girls we want."

"Except Lily." James continued in a slightly less heartbroken way.

"That's the Spirit mate! Just forget about her, and she will want you."

"How do you figure that Padbutt? Er, I mean, Pad_foot_." James asked with a smile.

"Oh great. She's rubbed off on you." Sirius said in a slightly more amused tone than James. "And it works like this; you like her, so she can't like you. Stop liking her, and she will fall head over heels in love."

"Which will not do me the slightest bit of good if I don't love her anymore," James said as they slid the compartment door open.

"Well, true. But lets not worry about that right now."

**A/N.** We apologize for the shortness of the chapter. Trust us, it is really painful to submit something this short. But we didn't have that much to put in the intro. Please do review. Briah is pronounced **BREE-**UH.


	2. Of Train ride Surprises

**Chapter Two**

**Of Train ride Surprises**

**A/N.** We dedicate Chapter Two to: **Imp**, **ratherbswimmin**, and **legolascrazy17**! Thanks so much for reviewing, guys. We love hearing what you all have to say and we really take all your suggestions to heart. You edited chapter one a bit so it's a little less confusing on the dialog part and we also put in who Bria was. (Yes, we changed the spelling of her name).

Now, on to chapter two!

Lily let out a squeal as she greeted her other best friend, Emma Burton, a petite brunette with large hazel eyes.

"I can't believe we didn't get to hang out all summer!" Emma said, hugging her tight.

"I know!"

Bria patted Emma on the head. "Gee you've grown… not at all, Em."

"Oh thanks, Bria!" Emma laughed.

"I'm just gonna go…er…there." Bria told her friends making her way toward the compartment door. "I'll be back later." She called over her shoulder, closing the door behind her.

Turning around, she practically collided with Peter. "Ah. The Marauders. Just the freaks I was looking for." Bria said.

Sirius snuck up behind her. "ARMPIT!" He yelled, grabbing her in a headlock, like fashion.

"Sirius Black! I am going to kill you!" She screamed, escaping the headlock, and attempting to tackle Sirius to the ground. Not an easy feat for a girl ten inches shorter than him.

Just then she heard James call out, "Why if it isn't good ol' Snivellus."

She turned and there he was; the same greasy black hair and oily appearance that she had put up with for the past six years.

Ignoring Sirius' remark ("Snivellus. Summer hols all right? You take a shower or something? You look a bit cleaner.") Bria immediately pretended to be hanging off of Sirius.

She smiled coyly up at Snape. "Heey Severus. Nice new Robes. They make you look…Buff." She shot him a sly wink.

"Er…I...Um…Uh." He stammered blushing and backing away. "I have to go and, er, bye."

"See you around Sev." Bria said, barely containing her laughter.

The second he was out of ear shot, the Marauders and Bria burst into a fit of uncontrollable laughter.

"Bria, you are brilliant." Sirius chuckled.

"I know. And there's more where that came from."

"And where would that be, Bria?" Remus asked her with a look just short of disdain.

"Well, that would be from my brilliant **_head_**." She pointed out with an air that clearly stated that that should have been completely obvious.

"And brilliant it is, Cheese." Sirius said attempting to give her a noogie.

"Hey, no touching the head!" Bria said smoothing her hair. "In fact, just for that…" she began, drawing her leg back with purpose.

"Oh no, Bria, not now. Madame Pomfrey isn't here to fix him." Remus persuaded, grabbing her foot, and holding fast.

"Why does every one keep touching me?" Bria complained shaking Remus off.

"Wait." Peter said suddenly, "Where is James?"

Sirius whacked the shortest Marauder upside the head. "Pete, you prick. He had to leave, to meet the other Head. He told us all that."

Peter looked horrified. "He has **_two_** heads?"

"No idiot, he's meeting the Head Girl."

"Whoa, hold on, the **_other_** Head?" Bria asked, looking thunderstruck.

"Merlin, I just explained this –"

"No. I know what you mean. I'm not dense. I mean **_He's_** the Head Boy?"

"Yes, what's so wrong?" Remus asked taking in her look of horror.

"Well, it was a bit of a shock when we first found out, but –"

"Sirius. Shut up."

"Aren't you pleasant."

"Listen, James is Head Boy…" Bria started.

"We know that." Peter pointed out.

"I wasn't finished! James is Head Boy…Lily is Head Girl."

A stunned silence followed these words.

Sirius let out a low whistle.

"Shit." Remus said in a slightly terrified voice.

"'Shit' is right." Sirius said with a small smile. "We'll have to run to find out who dies first."

With that said, they all took off down the hall.

As James walked down the hall, he wondered again who the Head Girl would be. There was always Elizabeth from Ravenclaw; she was top of her class. Or there was Kelly in Hufflepuff; who was one of Dumbledore's favorites.

It hadn't occurred to him to consider Lily, as an option. But as he opened the compartment door, there she sat. Looking slightly annoyed that everyone but her was late to the meeting.

"Fancy meeting you here." James said feeling slightly smug at the thought of patrolling the corridors at night alone with her.

"Why are **_you_** here?" Lily asked looking disgusted.

"Didn't you know? I'm Head Boy." James said with a slight smirk.

"You?" Lily asked, incredulous, "who not Remus? He's so much more eligible than you. And I can stand him!" She cried with feeling.

Just as James opened his mouth to give her a haughty retort, the door slid open to reveal Albus Dumbledore. "Ah! So glad to see you two are getting along well." He said, with a twinkle in his eyes.

"How could I even think about killing my Queen Lily?" James asked in mock indignation.

"Queen Lily, now am I?"

"Yes. Because you are Queen of my Heart."

"To answer your question, Mr. Potter," Dumbledore intersected, "Mr. Black, Mr. Lupin, Mr. Pettigrew and Miss Travystar seem to be under the impression that Miss Evans might kill you before this meeting draws to a close."

James glanced at Lily's face. It was livid. "That assessment doesn't seem to terribly far off, actually, Professor." He told the Headmaster.

"Your duties while here," Dumbledore began, ignoring Lily and James' banter, "will be to direct Prefects and the other students, make sure no one is out past the curfew and other things of a similar nature."

"We get to deduct House Points, right?" James asked excitedly.

"That is one of the Head privileges, yes." Dumbledore said with a smile.

"Oooh! I can't wait to get –"

"James!" Lily interrupted angrily, "you cannot abuse you power as Head Boy of Hogwarts! Younger students will look up to you! Merlin knows why."

"Now Lily," James said in an authoritative voice, "if there really need for all this hostility?"

"James Potter . . .I loathe you!" Lily said, her face turning crimson.

"And I **_love_** you, Queen Lily." James said moving toward her. "Now, how about a kiss?"

As James puckered up, Lily slapped him smartly across the face. "Don't you ever try that again James Potter!" She snarled at him, "**_Ever!_**"

"If that's all, Professor . . ." Lily trailed off seeing that Dumbledore had already left the compartment.

"I'll bid you good day then, sir." Lily said turning to face James once more before storming out.

Outside the compartment, Bria and Sirius were bickering again.

"That was **_my_** side of the window! Now your **_cooties_** are crawling all over it!" Sirius said pulling Bria away from the window.

"No! That was my half! You just stole it from me!" Bria countered, flailing wildly in attempts to escape from his grasp. "I was innocently sitting here poking you and you got you germs all over MY half! Now let me go, you window stealing arse!"

"Bria!" Lily called, still fuming from her interaction with James, "Come on, we're going now!"

"WINDOW! MINE! OUCH! DON'T POKE ME!"

"Stubborn, cootie covered wench!"

"Bria! COME ON!" Lily grabbed her friend by the hair and dragged her away.

"Blah! No touching the HAIR, Lily!"

**A/N. **There you go. Hope you enjoyed. We can't post again for a while.


	3. All American HoBag

Chapter Three 

All American Ho-Bag

Disclaimer: We do not own any of the traditional characters, J.K. Rowling does.

We would like to thank all the people who reviewed our last chapter, and dedicate this chapter to: **Legolascrazy17,** for her incredibly kind and uplifting review, **Harmonyhearsvoices,** for all of her constructive criticism, **Camille**, just for being, well, sweet, **Shannon**, for being well, Shannon, and finally, **ratherbeswimmin' **for so enthusiastic.

Sirius stepped off the train into the chilly night air of Hogsmeade. He glanced around the station, when he heard a shriek from just inside the train, and Bria came tumbling out on top of him.

"Bria, must you fall on me every year?" Sirius asked.

"Of course! We've done this since first year, and therefore, it is now a tradition."

"Well, would you mind getting off me now, so we don't get trampled?" Sirius asked with a sigh.

"But you ask so much of me!" Bria said, while getting back to her feet.

As soon as Bria was back up, James jumped out of the train, and landed on Sirius.

"Get off me, pack-mule!" Sirius grunted, while trying to dislodge his friend.

"A pack mule? Moi? James asked, as he rolled off Sirius.

"Don't even attempt to speak French, Prongs. Sirius said, dusting himself off. "You're no good at it."

"Moi? No good at speaking françias?" James asked indignantly.

"What did he say about the French, James?" Bria asked in a chastising voice

Before James could reply, they were joined by their friends.

"Come on you lot." Remus said after surveying the scene before him. "Let's go get a carriage."

As the seven of them made their way toward the carriages, Sirius sidled up to Bria.

As he drew up next to her, he slowly raised his arm…

"ARMPIT!" Sirius cried, coming down on Bria's neatly arranged hair.

"Sirius!" Bria trilled as he made a break for the carriages, "I am going to KILL you when I catch you!"

With that, she raced off after him at top speed, with the others at her heels.

The carriage ride passed quickly, and after what felt like no time at all, the carriages pulled to a stop in front of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

"Okay Bria, you can stop poking Padfoot now." Remus said, exiting the carriage.

"You just got lucky, Padbutt." Bria said, reluctantly ending her torture of Sirius.

"Ladies first." Sirius said, sardonically holding the door open for her.

"I don't think I should trust you." Bria said, cautiously making her way down the small flight of steps.

Sirius slowly pulled his wand out pf his sleeve, and with an air of pure malice about him, he took careful aim at Bria's cosmetics bag.

"Disendio!" Sirius shouted the spell just as Bria moved slightly to the left.

Sirius watched in horror as his spell hit the side of Bria's robes, causing them to split at the seam.

Bria looked down when she heard the ripping sound. It only took her a couple of moments to realize what had just occurred, and the second it all clicked into place; she lunged at Sirius, her tattered robes flying off behind her.

"Why isn't anyone saving me?" Sirius asked throwing his arm over his face as Bria hit his chest full force (Which is coincidentally, as high up on him as she comes).

"Because we have faith that you can win against such a tiny girl." James answered, from amongst the crowd of on lookers.

"She is in a bra and knickers! I can't even open my eyes! This is hardly what I'd call a fair fight," Sirius complained, raising his arm once again, to deflect a series of pinches delivered with precision by his female foe.

"Bria," Remus called from the outside of the fray, "I've just mended your robes."

"Thanks Remus!" Bria said, abandoning her defenseless friend.

After the crowd of students had dispersed, Bria turned to Lily and Emma.

"Come along ladies, the feast awaits us." Bria said, taking a friend on either arm, and heading toward the entrance hall.

"Wait!" James called, running after them, "May I sit with you at dinner, Lily?" He asked, his eyes riveted on Lily's retreating figure.

"Not a chance, Potter." Came Lily's flippant reply.

As James watched the girls' head away from his friends and himself, he heard Emma talking to Lily.

"Why don't you give the poor guy a chance, Lils?" Emma asked in an undertone.

"Because Em, he is an egotistical jerk who only wants me because he can't have me, and I can't stand him." Lily replied, not bothering to lower her voice.

Sirius took one look at his friend's crestfallen expression, and decided to take it upon himself to cheer the poor bloke up.

"Come on, mate." Sirius said, slapping James' shoulder good-naturedly.

"No girl can be worth all this trouble. I know! Let's call in some strippers from Hogsmeade!"

"No, Sirius. Absolutely not!" Remus said in a firm voice.

"Oh come on Rem. Don't be such a stodge!" Sirius said, in his most persuasive voice.

"It'll make James fell better!"

"No it won't!" James objected.

"And even if it would, let's remember the _Last _time you decided to "Cheer James up" Sirius" Remus coaxed.

"But it was worth it!" Sirius argued.

"It was most certainly NOT worth it!" James interjected.

"You're not the one who had to scrub the loos, top to bottom."

"Fair enough, _but_-."

"No "but"s!" Remus cut in unceremoniously.

"We are no hiring strippers!"

" I thought it was a good idea." Peter piped up.

"Well, it's not." James said, turning into the great hall, where all the students were already seated.

"I don't need something to distract me from Lily, I just need to figure out the best way to get her to go out with me."

"Just date other chicks." Sirius said, nonchalantly taking his seat.

"It'll make her jealous."

James glanced past Sirius, to where the girls were sitting.

"I just want her to love me the way I love her." He said in a dejected voice.

Samantha Bennett looked up at the familiar sound of her friends' laughter.

"Hey Sammy!" Bria said taking the seat right next to her.

"How'd your summer go?" She asked in her annoyingly good-natured way.

_Lord, please give me strength to deal with Bria, for one more year._

"Bria! My summer was spent completely devoted to the good Lord in heaven." Samantha replied, after a rather long and awkward silence.

"And yours?"

"Er… Fab. Bria finally stammered.

"I spent half of it with Lily, and half of it at home. Which was practically unbearable."

"Bria?" Samantha asked, after another lengthy lull in the conversation.

"Do you ever regret your previous lifestyle?"

"Never!" Bria laughed.

"I love being fun, and reckless!"

"But don't you ever you were still an innocent child?" Samantha persisted.

"I really haven't thought about it that much." Bria said, not really knowing how to respond.

"Hey look! There are the Marauders!" Bria said, with a sigh of relief.

As they sat down, she quickly turned her attention to the conversation Lily and Emma were having with a sweet looking fourth year, named Eliza, about the pros and cons of the "No Magic in the Corridors" rule.

"Personally I think that it is just a way to try to keep us sedated, as we make the would be perilous journey from one class to another." Emma commented.

"Well, I think-" Eliza began, but she was cut off abruptly by Jennifer, a snide looking sixth year.

"I think that you're just conversing with the upperclassmen, in attempts to boost your social status."

Lily took one look at the hurt expression on Eliza's face, and acted on a snap decision.

"And I think you will either apologize for that comment to Eliza, or serve detention with Professor Slughorn tomorrow night." Lily said turning to the rude sixth year.

"I apologize for that comment, Eliza." Jennifer said, with a sneer.

"Couldn't you have just taken away points, Lils?" Bria asked her friend.

"I could have, yes." Lily said with a sweet smile.

"But an apologize can be its own reward, as well as punishment."

"And this is why Lily is Head Girl, as opposed to you, Bree." Emma said with a slight chuckle.

"No." Bria said, vehemently, "It's because she won't play favorites. I, on the other hand, would never punish the Marauders. And Lily will punish them endlessly."

Before Lily could comment on this remark, Dumbledore stood up, commanding silence with his very presence.

"Good evening, students. I would like to begin the feast by welcoming the new students, and welcoming the old students back. I would also like to ask you to be kind and welcoming to our exchange student, transferring here from Texas U.S.A. But for now, let the sorting begin!"

At these words, Professor McGonagall stepped forward with a moderately long scroll, and began to read names from it.

After a short while, the only one left on the podium to be sorted was the blonde exchange student.

"Joplin, Rose!"

The blonde girl walked confidently up to the three legged stool, surveying all the tables, letting her eyes settle on the Gryffindor table, or to be more precise, Sirius.

She sat down on the stool, and right before the hat fell over her eyes, she winked boldly at Sirius.

"Why'd she do that?" Sirius whispered to Bria.

"How should I know?" Bria hissed back at him.

"Gryffindor!" The sorting hat's announcement shocked them both enough to cause them both to jump.

"I don't want to be near a girl who winks at me!" Sirius said, in a frantic whisper.

"Yeah, 'cause the wink is your trademark. Is that it, Sirius?" Bria asked with a slight eye roll.

"Well, yes actually. That is the problem exactly." Sirius said with a frown.

"Sigh. Canines." Bria said, turning away from him.

"Sigh. Mold." Sirius retorted, trying to turn away in suit.

"Hey! Remus! James! He called me mold! Did you hear him?" Bria asked.

"What about me?" Peter asked, indignant.

"Like you could do anything about him." Bria responded, snidely.

Before anyone could comment on this, rose walked up, and slid into the very small space between Sirius and Remus.

"Howdy!" She said in a sultry Texas drawl.

"I'm Rose. My dad Runs half the oil companies in our part of Texas. I think that is how he wrangled me a spot in Hogwarts. It didn't hurt that my mom has been crowned Miss United States in her day. Or that I've been crowned Miss Teen America three times, Little Austin twice, and Texas Princess Five times!"

As she said all of this, she was slowly inching away from a very relieved looking Remus, and toward a very scared looking Sirius.

"I suppose you could call me All American!" She said, practically sitting on Sirius now.

"Yeah, all American Ho-Bag!" Bria Muttered from her perch atop Sirius' lap.

**A/N. Sorry it's been so long since our last update, y'all. I would update once a week, except my co-author and I have been having troubles getting together to write. I will update once I get back from Chautauqua, which will be the 19th. So please enjoy this one!**


	4. Of Fights and Meat Cleavers

**Chapter Four**

**Of Fights and Meat Cleavers**

Disclaimer: We own nothing, J.K. Rowling, owns everything. I wish I could take credit for all the fabulous characters and locations in our story, I cannot. Because I would get sued.

I would like to send a **huge thank you out to all of the following: Marauderprincess, Legolascrazy17, Harmonyhearsvoices, Kelsey, LotsOhugs4Uxoxo, Shan Shan the Pan Pan, Camille, Moi, **and** redsoxfan90210. **

I would also like to dedicate this chapter to two people (I know that that probably breaks some rules, but these were the most uplifting and helpful reviews),

Firstly, to **Harmonyhearsvoices**, for all of her constructive criticism, and secondly, to **Legolascrazy17**, for her incredibly uplifting (and probably undeserved) Review. They really made my day.

And now, on to Chapter Four.

Dumbledore stood up, once again commanding attention without even trying.

"I know you are all hungry, so I will keep this brief. Enjoy!"

Sirius watched – A half starved expression on his face – as the food magically appeared.

He quickly filled his plate with anything and everything within arms reach.

Bria watched him in envy as he piled his plate high.

"I hate the fact that you can eat anything and still not gain an ounce." Bria complained.

"Oh I know!" Rose began. "I just hate that about guys! How they can eat and eat, and still…"

The blonde girl stopped talking abruptly, as the ghosts entered the great hall. "I don't think there were ghosts at my school. At least, I never noticed any." Rose said, slightly awed.

Bria however, ignored her entirely.

"Sirius?" Bria began.

"Umph?" Sirius grunted.

"Do you need some help?" She asked, trying, and failing, to keep the laughter from her voice.

Sirius was having troubles eating, seeing as he had one girl perched on his lap, and another one endlessly fawning over him.

The worst of his troubles however, was that, in her fawning over him, Rose was clutching his right arm. And Sirius, being right handed, was encountering great difficulties getting the hand, holding the fork, carrying his meal up to his mouth.

"That would be greatly appreciated Cheese!" Sirius said, the relief audible in his voice.

"I could feed you." The beautiful Texan suggested.

"I don't think that will be necessary, Rose." Bria argued, taking Rose's arm, so that Sirius could move his own.

"I think it would be fun." Rose stated.

With that, she shook her long blonde tresses over one incredibly tan shoulder.

She took the fork in one manicured hand, while tugging at the already impossibly low neckline of her frilly pink camisole to show off her perfect (And generous) cleavage.

"Now, open up." She said in a sickeningly seductive voice.

"The only reason he would need to be fed at all would be because _you_ refuse to release him. Now that he has full use of his hand again, you can…" Bria trailed off, as she watched Sirius discover the newfound use of his arm.

"Hey Cheese, I can use my arm again!" He exclaimed.

With that he began to flail his arm about wildly, incidentally whacking Bria.

"I can still feed him." Rose insisted.

"Girls, Girls. I just want to eat. There's no need to fight over me." Sirius said, in attempts to make peace.

"I was **NOT** fighting over you!" Bria exploded. "I was merely trying to help you maintain a small piece of dignity! But if you would rather be fed mashed potatoes by some Blonde haired, blue eyed, big boobed, **HO-BAG**! Be my guest!"

With that, Bria lifted her plate, and stormed the two feet to where Lily, Emma, and Samantha were sitting.

Once there, she slammed her plate down with such force that it shook the entire Gryffindor table out of the reverie that her explosion had placed it in.

"But Bria," Sirius said, in exasperation. "I didn't want you to go."

With a sigh, he turned back to his dinner.

"Where are my friends when I need them?" Sirius asked his overflowing plate of food.

"Well, the fellows you were talking to before dinner are sittin' just over there." Rose said, motioning to a spot some three feet to their left. "But they're just talking about Quidditch. And I'm sure you don't care about Quidditch. She edged ever closer to him.

Sirius raised a dark eyebrow.

"Why wouldn't I care about Quidditch?'

"It's just a silly sport! That's why." Rose said, now quite successfully atop his lap.

"I'm on the team."

"Oh"

_Later that night, in the girls' dorm._

"The little ho would not let him eat!" Bria raged, throwing open her bed curtains. "She wouldn't stop fawning over him! And Sirius! He was acting like he was having a great time of it! And since she transferred here in her seventh year, **I** will have to share a room with her!"

Lily, Emma, Samantha, and their roommate Alice Hooper, exchanged wary glances. They were all used to Bria's Rages, but this was a little extreme, even for her.

"Bria, why are you getting all worked up? I mean, it's only Sirius, after all." Emma asked while ducking to avoid being hit by a heavy textbook, which came sailing in her direction.

"I am **NOT** getting all worked up!" Bria screamed, while flailing the arm holding her hairbrush about. "I just don't see why Sirius would let her manipulate him like that!"

"Okay, so you're not worked up, Lily said, narrowly avoiding being hit by Bria's hairbrush. "But would you please stop swinging your arm wildly about? You keep nearly hitting me!"

"I am not swinging my arm wildly about!" Bria said, while swinging her arm wildly about. "I am merely trying to unpack my trunk, while telling you what happened at the feast!"

When she said "Feast" She gave her arm a particularly vigorous swing, whacking Emma in the face.

"Sorry, Em." Bria said, finally setting her weapon down.

"I understand that you don't like her," Emma said as calmly as can be expected under the circumstances. "But if you could please refrain from taking it out on my **NOSE**!"

"Right. I'll keep that in mind." Bria said, while semi calmly unpacking the rest of her trunk.

Before any further comment could be made on Bria's behavior, Rose entered the room, extracting a small growl from Bria.

"I love it here at Hogwarts, don't you ladies?" Rose asked, flipping her long blonde hair over her shoulder, and sitting on the edge of Bria's bed.

Bria turned slowly toward Alice, "She is sitting on my bed!" She growled, through clenched teeth.

"Uh-oh." Alice said softly. "She sat on the bed."

"And that fellow I was sittin' with at dinner," She continued, undaunted. "What was his name again?"

"Sirius Black." Bria spit out, still through clenched teeth.

"Yeah" That's the one! Thanks Doll." Rose said, not aware that Bria was less than thrilled with her presence.

" He was just such a darlin'! So kind and welcoming. Not to mention sweet and caring."

Bria was beginning to look like she had some sort of convulsive eye twitch, from trying so hard not to throttle the offending witch.

"And…" Rose began, with an open smirk. "Soooo good lookin'!"

"That is it!" Bria shouted, throwing her arms up. "No one calls Sirius Black good looking on my bed!"

"Actually," Lily began hesitantly. "No one calls Sirius Black good-looking, in your presence."

"Well, it counts doubly on my bed." Bria cried, her violet eyes flashing.

"What's your problem?" Rose asked, getting off Bria's bed at last. "Don't you like him?"

"Of course I like him." Bria ground out. " He is one of my dearest friends."

"He really was so kind to me at dinner, he must be one of the sweetest boys at Hogwarts. There were no boys as perfect as him at The Texas Academy of Magic." Rose continued, paying Bria no mind at all.

"That is it!" Bria exploded. "If I have to listen to one more of Sirius' "Perfect" attributes, I swear I shall go to the kitchens, get a meat cleaver, and murder you in your sleep!"

"And with his devilishly handsome features," Rose said, completely unperturbed by Bria's threats. "What with his dark hair, and bronze skin, I just want to jump him!"

"That does it!" Bria shouted, storming out of the dorm. "When I return, I will have the meat cleaver!"

"Now you've done it." Alice said as the door slammed shut. "Let's just hope that the house elves have hidden it better than last time."

_Meanwhile, in the boys' dorm, chaos reigned._

"Okay, who has the fluffy pillow?" James asked, as they entered the dorm.

All four marauders immediately scurried to their respective beds and started poking at their pillows.

"I've got it!" Came Sirius' muffled voice. "The first time since second year!"

"No fair! It's the last year! I want it. In fact, as Head Boy, I demand the pillow!" James said, tossing his own pillow at Sirius.

"No way. If anyone else gets it, it should be me!" Remus said, poking at his own particularly lumpy pillow. "I got the extra flat one this year, that's no fair."

"Not a chance, Moony." Sirius insisted, hugging his pillow to his chest. "You got it last year, and James, the year before."

"I thought Peter had it that year." Remus said.

"Nope." James said. "I stole it from him that first night."

"And that whole year I thought I had the pillow." Peter commented.

"Now boys," Sirius interjected. "Let's remember the Sacred Oath which we signed in cherry juice our first year."

"The Oath did say "Get the pillow, Keep the pillow"" Remus confirmed. "Despite my numerous other suggestions."

"Wait!" James cried suddenly. "The oath is gone!"

All the boys turned to stare at Sirius.

"Padfoot!" James said in dismay. "Are you eating the Sacred Oath?"

"Just Licking!" Sirius defended himself. "It tastes like cherry!"

"Why are you eating paper, Sirius?" Frank Longbottom asked, from the opposite side of the room.

"Because," Sirius whined, "that new exchange student refused to let me eat! And on top of all that, Bria abandoned me with her!" He finished in a hurt voice.

"Yeah, what was up with her tonight?" Justin Sumpter asked, a moderately tall boy with light brown hair and blue eyes, asked. "She's normally such a sweet, even tempered girl."

There was a long silence, in which all the Marauders exchanged glances.

"Bria? Sweet?" Sirius asked, incredulously.

"And even tempered?" Remus added, eying his wand, which just previously that night he had used to repair Bria's robes while she was occupied by trying to beat Sirius up.

"Yeah! Isn't she just about perfect?" Justin asked, a starstruck look in his eyes.

"Perfect?" The other five boys chorused.

"She is! She's perfect in everyway imaginable." He retorted.

"Er… what makes you say this, Justin?" Remus asked cautiously, trying desperately to make sense of the situation.

"Well-"

"Ugh!" He was cut off abruptly by Sirius, who was now clutching his stomach, and wailing. "I am so hungry! I fear I shall surely perish if I do not eat soon!" Falling to the floor, still clutching his stomach and wailing.

"Then go down to the kitchens, and get some food!" James said, kicking his fallen friend.

Sirius leaped back up. "That's a bloody brilliant plan! Now, where are the map and your cloak?"

"Stupid Ho-Bag." Bria muttered under her breath, as she darted from shadow to shadow. "Has to go on about Sirius nonstop! "I think he's sweet!" "I think he's kind" "I think he's sexy as hell!" I'll show her sweet! Loathsome be-otch!"

Just then a loud crash resounded from not to far behind her.

"Okay, which Marauder are you?" She asked, trying not to sound the least bit startled.

When no one answered, she turned back around, only to come face to face with a very scary looking Sirius.

He had raised his hand above his head, and was making the scariest looking face Bria had ever come across.

"Ahhhhhhh!" She screamed, as she kicked him in a very sensitive spot.

"Ow! Bria, what was that for?" Sirius complained, in a very high-pitched voice.

"It was self-defense." Bria replied, smoothing her hair back down and smirking slightly.

"I didn't even touch you!" Sirius objected.

"I was scared." Suddenly, Bria remembered that she was horribly furious with Sirius, and she stormed off.

"Wait! Where are you going?" Sirius asked, getting to his feet, and scrambling after her.

"To find a meat cleaver, because I hate Rose." She told him nonchalantly.

"Really? That's why I'm here to!" Sirius stage whispered, as he drew up next to her.

"You're here, to get a meat cleaver so you can murder Rose in sleep?"

"Well, not exactly. I'm here to get food, because I couldn't eat with her on my lap. Sirius explained, as they entered the kitchens.

"The two are nothing alike!" Bria insisted, as they lit some torches.

"Food!" Sirius exclaimed, throwing himself at the pile of chocolate éclairs.

As Bria went about checking all the drawers and cabinets, Sirius found himself mildly concerned for her sanity.

"Er…you're not actually looking for a meat cleaver are you?" he asked, around a mouth full of éclair.

"Why? Scared for the safety of your new soul mate?" Bria asked, inspecting a fork very carefully.

"Soul mate?" He asked, looking around for more éclairs. "Bria, you know I haven't got one of those."

"Bwa ha! I have found it!" She said, waving the meat cleaver around in the air triumphantly. "So you don't want to like, jump her or anything?"

"Merlin no! She may be sexier than hell, What with that super long hair, and--" He stopped speaking abruptly as he noticed that she was now glaring at him, and pointing the meat cleaver in his direction.

"But she kept me from my food! Which is never acceptable." He finished in a rush. "Besides Bria, she hasn't got a soul."

"With a wry smile Bria lowered the meat cleaver to her side. "Then suppose I must forgive you for being such a jackass. Goodnight!" With that she left the kitchens with her meat cleaver.

"Goodnight Bri—Wait! I'm not a jackass! Bria! Wait! Come back!" But she had already gone.

**A/N.** Ha ha. I did it! I am on time! Well, sort of. Please read and review. I will try to update next week, but I might be a little late. So very sorry. Love you all!


	5. Fix My Hair

**Chapter Five**

**Fix My Hair**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Well, nothing that has to do with Harry Potter anyway. I do think that J.K. Rowling should give me Harry Potter, but I doubt she will.**

**We would like to thank everyone who reviewed Chapter four: blvd, legolascrazy17, Harmonyhearsvoices, Kelsey, Camille, and last but not least Marauderprincess.**

**You guys are the best! I love knowing that people are reading our story, and really appreciate all the uplifting reviews. Please keep reading and reviewing! **

**And now on to the story.**

James dashed along the fourth floor corridor, looking for a certain tapestry. He skidded to a stop before it and wrenched it open to duck inside.

As he ran down the secret passage he checked his watch for the sixth time since leaving the common room five minutes ago.

He swore under his breath, and told himself not to check his watch again, because every time he looked at it more time had passed, and it became more obvious that he would be late for the first prefect meeting of the year.

He hadn't meant to be running so late. He had just wanted to finish his game of Wizard's chess. After an excruciating defeat, he realized how late he was already running, and had dashed out the portrait hole right then.

He finally arrived at the door after what felt like an eternity of running. He reached for the doorknob only to retract his hand a moment later.

"Fix my hair." He panted, reaching up to muss his already messy hair.

As he entered the room, he felt everyone's eyes upon him.

"Kind of you to join us, Potter." Came professor McGonagall's cold voice.

"Sorry—I'm late—Professor." James gasped. "I lost track of time."

"Now that the Head Boy has been kind enough to join us, let the meeting commence." McGonagall said, turning to the other inhabitants of the room.

"To begin with, we would just like to ensure that all of the prefects understand all the of the rules. Miss Evans, would you be so kind as to explain them?" She asked, taking a seat amongst the prefects.

"Certainly, Professor." Lily said, standing up. "The most important rule is..."

James tuned the meeting out and just stared at Lily.

_She is truly a vision of loveliness. I wish she give would me a chance. I would try to make her happy until my dying day._

"Hello? Earth to Potter." Lily said, waving a slender hand in front of his nose.

"Yeah?" James asked, shaking himself out of his reverie.

"I asked what you thought of the idea if a Prom." Lily shook her head and smiled. _I don't know what goes on in that head of his, but it can't be all bad. He wasn't even staring at my chest. What am I thinking? This is James Potter we're talking about! Of course he was thinking bad thoughts! He was probably staring at my butt. Yes that's it! My Butt. _

James watched as Lily's smile was replaced with a scowl.

"What's "Prom"?" James asked feeling horribly confused.

Lily rolled her eyes at his dumbstruck expression. "Prom is a muggle tradition. At the end of senior year, the kids graduating have a big formal dance." Lily explained patiently. "All the girls get fancy dresses and the guys get tuxedos, and we dance all night."

"I like that idea!" James exclaimed with a boyish grin.

"That's great." Lily said, rolling her green eyes again. "You realize that you will have to help me plan it?" Lily asked raising her eyebrows. She had a hard time believing that James would be so enthusiastic once he knew that there was work involved.

James nodded sweetly. "Of course Queen Lily!" He said, the picture of innocence.

The prefects all laughed quietly until Lily glared at the lot of them, immediately shutting them up.

"Also," Lily said, walking away from the spot James was sitting. "I think we should have a traditional graduation ceremony. Just for the fun of it."

_That night at dinner._

"I get to patrol the corridors with Lily tonight!" James announced for the seventeenth time since the prefect meeting.

"Yes, yes." Remus said absentmindedly. "Lily at night."

"Well, I'm happy for you mate!" A terrified looking Sirius, said. "Do you see her? Is she anywhere near me at all?"

"Nobody cares about this momentous occasion save for me?" James asked sadly.

"I care!" Peter said enthusiastically. "You are going to shag Lily tonight."

That shook everyone out of their own personal thoughts.

"I am going to do what now?" James asked, looking horrified.

Sirius roared with laughter. "James would never take advantage of Lily!"

"I care about her far to much!" James agreed.

"Peter, your thoughts are for to vulgar for the dinner table." Remus said with a look of disgust on his face.

After a couple of moments James headed back to La La Land.

"As soon as dinner's over, I get to patrol the corridors with Lily!" He said, with a happy grin.

"WE KNOW!" The other three Marauders said, in exasperation.

"Why, howdy y'all!" Came the familiar Texas drawl.

"Hide me!" Sirius whispered, diving under the table.

The other three Marauders just snickered at him where he hid.

"Where did Padbutt, go?" Bria asked, taking the charm off of her voice.

"Under the table." James answered without taking his gaze off of Lily, who had just entered the great hall with Emma.

Sirius poked his head out from under the table. Sometimes, Bria, I believe you may be bad for my health"

"Probably." She agreed, nonchalantly taking a seat.

As the two of them began their playful banter of the evening, James tuned them all out, his only thoughts on patrolling later that night.

"Took you long enough to get here." Lily scolded.

"Sorry Lily, Truly I am. I've been looking forward to this all evening." James apologized.

The two Heads began to walk down the first floor corridor.

"So what exactly—" James began.

"Hold on. Let's just get all this sorted out right away. I have a couple of rules for you.

Rule number one: No talking to me.

Rule number two: No asking me out.

Rule number three: No trying to kiss me.

Think you can handle that, Potter?"

"I reckon I—"

"Wait! Rule number one is?"

"No talking to—"

"Gacle! No talking!"

"But what if—"

"Nah uh, no talkie!"

"But I need—"

"No!"

"Lily I—"

"James!"

Silence rang through the hall. James finally nodded, downcast, and started walking again.

After a few moments of walking in silence, James said quietly, "Lilt, I really need to—"

"No! No talking!" Lily said waving her hand in front of his face.

James caught her hand, and held it for a moment. They both had stopped walking.

"Rule number four." Lily said, "No touching me."

She yanked her hand away and walked quickly down the hall.

She didn't want to have to deal with him at all. And she most certainly did not want him to touch her. But for some strange reason, her hand felt all tingly where he had grasped it.

"I do not want to think about why my hand feels all nice." She muttered to herself.

James caught up to her easily, and when he did, he used a simple spell to enable him to write in the air.

"I am sorry for breaking rules one and four." His message read.

Lily took one look at his earnest expression and felt truly sorry for making him feel bad.

"I guess you can speak to me." Lily said to him, as way of apologizing to him. "But no obnoxious." She warned.

James' face split into a huge grin, as he struggled with the urge to give Lily a huge hug.

"Thanks." He said, to avoid touching her, he stuck his hands in his robes.

"I want to apologize for being so rude." Lily said after a long silence. "I was acting without precedence, which is never polite."

James' grin broadened.

"I accept your apology, Lily." He said softly. "But I do need to know what we're supposed to be doing on these patrols."

"I think we're just looking for kids who are out of bed."

"That doesn't seem too difficult." James acknowledged.

"They finished their job quickly and headed back to their common room in somewhat companionable silence.

"Lily?" James asked.

"What?"

"Is Rose still alive?"

"I believe she made it through the night, yes." Lily replied with a smile.

"Good-night then." James said as they headed back to their respective dorms.

"Good-night Potter."

And with that, they both headed to bed.

**A/N. There you go. An update. This might be the last one for a while, because PerfectlySirius and I might not be getting together for a while. Please review, and we'll update as soon as possible.**


	6. All Hail the Albino Cheesepuff King

All Hail the Albino Cheesepuff King (Duchess!) 

We would like to dedicate this chappie to Maggie. Whose threats of death got us properly motivated. Thank you Maggie.

Disclaimer: You know the drill. Me no owny.

Bria was woken at the crack of dawn by somebody singing (in a Texan accent) in the shower.

"That whore is in the bathroom! Which I use! That's it. I'm never bathing again!"

Lily rolled over in her bed.

"Please don't stop showering Bria. We'll not let her touch your shampoo, I swear."

Bria scowled.

"Can I please have the meat cleaver back?"

Lily rolled her eyes.

"No Bria. I am not giving you tools for murder."

She pulled herself out of bed.

"You will get expelled."

Rose walked out of the bathroom.

"Hey y'all. Who has the shampoo in the green bottle? It was the kind I used back home, so I used it. Is that okay?"

Bria shot her a look of pure loathing.

"THAT WAS MY SHAMPOO!"

O.O O.O O.O O.O O.O O.O O.O O.O O.O O.O O.O O.O O.O

In Maraud…er, _boys_ dorm…

"Oh my. Somebody's used Bria's shampoo." Remus said, looking through his trunk for clean robes.

"Oomph." James mumbled, rolling off his bed and onto the floor. "Or sat on her bed."

"No." Sirius said, sitting up in his bed, his morning hair obscured by the pillowcase on his head. "I definitely heard shampoo."

"Sirius," Remus asked, giving Sirius a strange look. "Why is there a pillowcase on your head?"

"I don't know." Sirius replied, after a moment's thought.

"Why are we up?" Peter complained groggily. "It's to early."

"Did you not hear fair Bria's anguished cry?" Justin asked.

Sirius looked horrified.

"Fair?" He asked, with a look of disgust.

"Justin!" James exclaimed. "You are beginning to sound like moony."

"Fair?"

"Hey," Remus protested. "I am much more coherent than that."

"Fair?"

"No." Peter grumbled. "I did not. Did some one sit on her bed again?"

"Fair!"

"No. Shampoo." Everyone in the dorm, save for Sirius, replied.

"Is no one listening to me? BRIA IS NOT FAIR!"

"Sirius, sit." James said absentmindedly.

Sirius, trained by doing so many tricks on the animagus form, sat.

"Oi! Stop doing that! It's embarrassing."

"Yes." Justin said, looking incredulous. "Bria is the fairest in the land."

"I thought that was Cinderella." Peter said confusedly.

"Snow white, mate. Snow white."

"Bria is not fair!" Sirius said, crossing his arms over his bare chest. "Bria is Bria. And she can't be fair, because she is Cheese."

After a long pause. "Sirius, mate, you're in Sirius-denial."

Everyone in the dorm groaned. "That gets lamer every time you say it, Pete."

Sirius glared. "That's it!" he proclaimed, pointing to the ceiling. "I am going to go throw my pants at Cheese!"

Remus groaned. "Not again Sirius. Last time you threw your pants at her, McGonagall nearly expelled you."

"This is true. But hardly my fault!"

After a long moment, in which the Marauders all glared at Sirius, he consented.

"Alright! I won't throw my pants at her; I will only throw my trousers! Are you happy Remus?"

With that, Sirius stormed out of the dorm.

With his retreat, Remus let out a huge sigh. "Well, at least we're making headway with him."

O.O O.O O.O O.O O.O O.O O.O O.O O.O O.O O.O O.O O.O O.O O.O

"Stupid ho. Use my shampoo. I'll find I new meat cleaver."

"Hey Bria!" Sirius shouted from the top of the boy's staircase. "Pants!"

"Ugh!" Bria shouted, catching the trousers. "Wait. These aren't pants! These are trousers! Thank God!"

"Sirius' pants!" Rose said, snatching them away from Bria.

"Wait…you are still wearing your pants, right?" Bria looked up at Sirius.

"Do I look like I'm wearing pants to you?"

"I am so relieved!"

"He isn't wearing pants! I have his pants!"

"Wait…" Bria said, looking really confused as Rose ran off with Sirius's trousers.

"Huh… those are my…I still have my…" His indigo eyes widened as realization struck, "She has my trousers!"

Sirius ran down the stairs past Bria, right as Lily came down the stairs.

"Black! Get back to your dorm and change into decent clothes! You cannot go gallivanting about the common room in just your pants! You must follow some sort of dress code at all times! This dress code includes trousers!" Lily yelled when she saw him running about trying to reclaim his pants.

Still running, he turned and shouted to the enraged redhead, "It's not my fault! Rose – she has my trousers! I must get them back!"

With that, Sirius disappeared out the portrait hole.

Lily blinked. "So…why does Rose have Black's trousers." She asked, thinking that she might not want to know. "Did he sink that low after all?"

Bria looked disgusted. "No! I would hope not! That crazy slut just took them and ran for the hills! Or, the corridors, rather."

Lily shock her head, "Let's just pray that nobody becomes permanently scarred when they see him running through the halls with no clothes…"

Meanwhile, Sirius was still chasing after his pants. Being a much faster runner than the blonde he was catching up to her quickly, despite her massive head start.

Right as he was about to catch her when McGonagall materialized right in front of him.

"Mr. Black! **_What are you doing_**?" She yelled.

"Professor!" Sirius screamed, stopping just in time so he didn't crash into the livid teacher. "Rose stole my trousers!"

"I do not want to hear it! Last time it was "Cheese stole my Pants!" I don't see how food can be accountable for you exposing yourself in my corridors!"

"But…She really did! Both times! Well, Bria only once. But both times they have been stolen from me!" Sirius tried to explain, though he knew his attempts were futile.

"Detention Mr. Black!" Professor McGonagall barked.

"But…" Sirius stammered, looking crest fallen. "I want my trousers! She stole them! Give her detention too at least!"

"Mr. Black! You will not tell me who to give detentions too! I will not give Miss Joplin detention. She has done nothing to deserve it!"

"How has she not?" Sirius asked, making a grab for Rose, who had come back to see why he had stopped chasing her, trousers in hand. "She still has my trousers!"

"He threw them at me! I just ran off with them!" Rose claimed, throwing the trousers at him.

"But…I threw them at Cheese! I would never throw my clothes at anyone but Cheese!" Sirius said, struggling into his trousers.

"Thank you for returning Mr. Blacks trousers. Mr. Black, you will report to my office at eight tonight."

O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.

"I wonder if I should try writing poetry for her?" James asked himself, as he headed up to the Owlery to ship a package to his older sister. "Oh Lily, You are so… Nope. This isn't going to work. Poetry is not my thing. Um…Maybe I could serenade her. Laaaa! Nope. Waaaaaaaay out of key with that one. I could take up dancing!" After a couple of steps he realized that this, too, was going to be a failed attempt to impress the love of his life.

"What are you doing?" Lily asked from the doorway.

James whirled around. "Er…Lily! What are you doing here?"

"Well," Lily said, leaning up against the egress. "I came to ship a package to my mum and dad. It's their anniversary."

"Oh."

"What are you doing here?" she asked, looking at him in suspicion.

"_I_ am shipping a package to my older sister, Alisse." He said, holding up his package. "I bought this pretty glass shoe thing in Hogsmeade."

"When were you in Hogsmeade?" Lily asked, raising her eyebrows. "The first Hogsmeade weekend isn't until next month."

"Uh… Over summer?"

Before Lily could respond to this inadequate excuse, Bria and Sirius came waltzing in. Literally.

"La la! Laaaaaaaaaa!" Bria sang as she and Sirius danced about.

"What in the world is wrong with you two?" Lily asked, looking down at Bria's face, as Sirius mock dipped her, but in reality just dropped her on her head.

"Padbutt! You bugger! I am going to throw you out of one of these windows for that!"

With that she shot up off the poop-covered ground, and attempted to tackle Sirius. This was, however, quite unsuccessful. Seeing as she is only 5'4", and under 115 pounds.

"Ha ha! Puny little girl thing trying to tackle me!" Sirius said.

"Jeeze Sirius. Let the poor puny little girl thing go." James said pulling a bag of packing peanuts out.

"Ooh!" Said Sirius, forgetting that he was being tackled, "Peanuts! Give."

James held the package out and Sirius snatched it away, staring intently at the packing peanuts. "Sweet," he muttered, "You have the albino kind."

"Those aren't Peanuts." Bria said ducking under Sirius' arm. "They are cheesepuffs."

"Yeah. But albino cheesepuffs." Sirius said pulling them out, one by one. "They are the coolest thing ever."

"Um…" Lily started hesitantly. "Those are just white styraphome peanuts."

"No!" Sirius objected. "They are albino cheesepuffs."

"Except that one." Bria said pulling one out. "It's green."

"Whoa!" Sirius said reverently. "It's the king!"

"Why king?" Bria asked, putting her hands on her hips. "Why not duchess or something?"

"Because!" Sirius replied, happily towering over his friend. "It is green. And all people know that green is a guy color!"

"No!" Bria protested. "Green is a duchess color."

"Alright!" James interjected. "Sirius, you can keep the green thing if you and Bria just leave!"

James was totally mortified. He was losing the Lily battle without the help of his friends.

"Score! I won the king!"

"Duchess!"

"King!"

"Duchess!"

"Shut up!" James yelled, blushing horribly "Out now, or else I am taking back my peanut."

"I think it is a cheesepuff" Lily put in.

"Yes. Cheesepuff!" Bria said, jumping eight feet in the air, trying to get the peanut away from Sirius."

"OUT!" James yelled, grabbing Bria out of the air, and putting her out the door.

"Fine! I see how it is!" Sirius said, being pushed out of the Owlery.

"Those two drive me so insane sometimes." Lily said laughing, as Bria and Sirius walked down the stairs, still arguing about whether it was a king or a duchess.

"Those two drive me insane _all_ the time!" James complained. "They're both fine on their own, but together…"

"I agree. They are nightmares."

They both laughed. _Wait!_ Lily thought, in minor shock. _Am I having a civil conversation with James Potter?_

_Wait!_ James thought._ Is Lily having a civil conversation with me?_

Immediately after thinking this Lily began to scowl.

_Aw. I've lost her._

"Damn!" Came a muffled voice from outside the door. "I can hear her scowling!"

"You can't hear people scowl Padbutt! It's not possible!" Came another, equally muffled, voice.

"Oh yeah? I can hear you scowling."

"No! You can see me scowling. Not hear me."

"Oh yeah? I bet if I closed my eyes you'd still be scowling."

"Oh?"

"Yeah! Let's try!"

"Fine."

"Are you still scowling?"

"No."

"How do I know though?"

"You will just have to trust me."

"Shut up you two!"

Um…I think I'm going now." Lily said as she left the Owlery.

After a while Bria and Sirius started arguing again.

"I am going to kill you guys!" James screamed barreling around the corner they were hiding behind.

**A/N: Sorry this took so long to get put up! It has taken us a million years to get together. I swear we will be faster next time! I promise! Okay. Please read review. We love our reviews! Please give us feedback on the Bria/Sirius situation! And tell us what you want from this story. We need ideas! Thank you all very much! We love you all!**


	7. All for the Sake of the Prank

**Chapter Seven**

All For the Sake of the Prank 

Disclaimer: Same old, same old. We not own. Except for Bria. She is ours. And Rose. And Justin. Hannah: Oh blast! Get on with it! Me: Fine! Be that way! I see how it is! Okay, not ours, J.K. Rowling's.

O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O

_I truly wish that Lily and James would stop being so sodding stubborn! _Bria thought while glaring at her toast. _It would make my life so much easier! And I could spend more time with Lils! Yay! I should go flirt with Snivellus! That amuses me so! And it makes Sirius purple! That is always a plus. Purple is a good color on Sirius. So is blue. I can do that to him too! I should do that right now!_

"My boobs have grown so much this month! Have you noticed Sirius?" Bria asked, pushing her boobs up with her hands.

Sirius started to choke on his toast, turning slightly blue. "Have I done what to you?" he asked, turning bluer by the second.

"Bria," Remus said looking up from his breakfast. "Please refrain from fondling yourself at the breakfast table."

"Sirius, mate, it's okay. Her boobs have grown that much." Peter put in helpfully.

"And how, dare I ask, do you know this, Wormy?" James inquired. Actually, it might be safe to say that he was actually interested in the answer.

"Um…I dunno?"

"Blue really is such a nice color on you!" Bria said with a smile.

"Air!" Sirius gasped.

"Oh no!" Rose exclaimed, trying to squish her arse into the space between Bria and Sirius. "What did you do to him? Is he dying? Does he need mouth to mouth? I know mouth to mouth! I could perform it on him."

"I know mouth to mouth too!" Bria said unhelpfully. "I could perform it on him too!"

"Oh no! He's turning even bluer! What are we to do? Will he die?" Rose asked anxiously.

"No." Remus said, not bothering to look up. "He'll be fine as soon as Bria lets go of her boobs."

Bria did so, and like magic Sirius returned to his normal color.

"Ah well, the little joys in life are often the most fulfilling." Bria said profoundly

"We are going to be late to our classes." Remus said.

"We will bare that in mind." James said, looking for more pancakes.

"I think we should go to our classes." Lily said.

"Okay." James said, ceasing his search for pancakes instantaneously.

"He is so pathetic." Sirius mumbled. "Cheese, remind me never to fall in love."

"Yes, well." Bria said, stealing the last pancake. "Ha! I got it!"

They all walked out into the hall, only to be greeted by two separate fan clubs.

"James! We should go out!" Jennifer said, flinging herself upon him.

"Sirius! We should go out!" Rose said, seizing the chance to fling herself on Sirius.

"Um… No" Bria said trying to pull her off of Sirius, but to no avail, because Rose was still attached to her would be lover.

"Ah, ah! Cheese! You're supposed to get her off of me! Not drag us both down the corridors!" Sirius said, as he was dragged along by Rose and Bria.

"Er…Bria?" Snape asked, coming out of nowhere. "Can I talk to you for a moment?"

"Sure." Bria said without letting go of Rose.

"Um…without your entourage?"

"I dunno? Will you let go of Padbutt now?" She asked Rose, tightening her hold on the blonde's hair.

"No."

"Oh well, I tried."

As Sirius watched Bria walk off with Snape, Rose decided to grab his bum, causing him to shriek very loudly. And like a girl.

"That was very lady like of you, Sirius." James informed him.

"Yes. Why is Cheese walking off with that slimy git?" He asked glaring in Bria's direction, while simultaneously removing Rose's hand from his bum.

"I dunno?" James said helpfully. "Maybe she thinks him sexy."

"EW!" Emma said coming up behind them.

"Thank you, for the appropriate response." Sirius said, removing Rose's hand from his bum a second time.

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"Um…Bria?" Snape asked, sweating profusely.

_Ugh! Why is he such a slimy? He makes me want to puke. Or throw up. I dunno which one._

"Yes?"

"Er…youwangoutwitme?" He asked, all in a rush, and nearly making Bria wince with the confusingosity.

"Er…huh?"

"You wan go ut wit me?" He asked more slowly, but not the least bit more articulately.

"Um…Sure?" Bria asked, still not sure what he wanted.

"You will?" Snape asked, getting all excited.

"Meh. Why not?" Bria answered with a shrug.

Just then Sirius rounded the corner.

"Well, Black, your groupie has agreed to go out with me." Snape sneered.

"Listen bastard, you can have Rose, I really don't want her."

"No! Your other groupie."

"Mariah?"

"No."

"Hannah?"

"No."

"Kelsey?"

"No."

"Chloe?"

"No."

"Shannon?"

"No."

"Camille?"

"No."

"Clair?"

"No."

"Emmylu?"

"No."

"Maggie?"

"No."

"Sarah?"

"It's—"

No, no. Don't tell me. I can get it!"

"Emily?"

"No."

"Bethany?"

"No."

"Well, I'm out of groupies. Who the hell is it?" Sirius demanded, poking Bria absentmindedly.

"'Tis none other than your precious Bria!" Snape said triumphantly. He put a protective arm around Bria's waist.

"Cheese!" Sirius exclaimed, the hurt showing plainly in his eyes. "How could you?"

"Um…I dunno?" Bria said. She was far too preoccupied trying to escape Snape's death grip.

"I was going to give you joint custody of the cheesepuff."

"It's too late for you Black. She already chose me."

"Oh no!" Rose put in, grabbing Sirius' bum for the third time that morning. "Let's make them jealous by making out, shall we?"

"Snivellus Snape! I challenge you to a duel!"

"I decline!" Snape attempted to drag Bria away but to no avail. "Come, Bria. Let us leave Mr. Black to his tart."

"Snivellus, I don't think I could ever go out with someone who would avoid a duel. In fact, I would rather think them a coward."

The word rang sharply in Snape's ears. "Fine." He spat, "Continue to piss around with this wanker if that's what you choose." Shaking with rage and embarrassment he leaned close to Bria's face, "But _don't_ call me a coward!" He hissed. With that he spun around and stalked off toward the dungeons.

The first to speak was Rose. Sirius had nearly forgotten that she was there, but a small hand on his bum reminded him of her presence. "You know what I like?" she drawled, "a man who isn't afraid of dueling. Let's make out, Siri, what do you say?" She fluttered her eyelashes.

Sirius ignored her and put a hand on Bria's shoulder. "Never scare me like that again."

"What?"

"How could you even pretend to agree to a date with Tall, Dark, and Greasy?"

"All for the sake of the prank, Sirius, all for the prank."

Sirius laughed, part of him was still horrified at the thought of Bria with the snarky tosser. But, as she had said, all for the sake of the prank…right?

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"James, this is the most absurd idea you've ever had." Remus said.

"No! Really. It will work. I swear."

"I dunno." Peter piped up. "Aren't those things supposed to be really big and scary?"

"No. I heard they were cute and cuddly. Like a rat! Or maybe it's that they eat rats?"

"They do?"

"No Peter." Remus reassured the smallest Marauder. "They don't eat rats."

"I mean" Sirius complained, keeping up his own conversation. "Why would she even fake it? He is _so_ slimy!"

"No." James agreed. "They only eat humans! Small humans with blonde hair and blue eyes!"

"Oh brilliant!" Sirius said, giving all a brief interlude from his constant complaints of Bria's dating Snape. "Let's feed them Rose!"

James and Peter chuckled, while Remus stood up and walked to his trunk.

"What're you up to Moony?" James craned his neck to see with the werewolf was doing.

"I'm looking for a book," Remus muttered, "Ah – here." He returned to the others and placed a dusty tome between them all. He flipped through the pages before stopping. "Acromantula, yes, their webs are on the ground. Hum… but it says here that they prefer large prey and that they're known wizard killers." He carefully closed the book, "James, if you would like to go into the dark forest and take on a colony of gigantic spiders then be my guest. But frankly, I'm not very enthralled by the idea."

"He is such a wanker!" Sirius said, with no regard for the conversation, taking place around him.

"Sirius!" Peter said, obviously appalled. "That is not a very nice thing to say about Moony!"

"Not Rem!" Sirius said, exasperatedly. "Snivellus! Have none of you been listening to me for the past day? He asked Cheese out! _MY_ cheese! Nobody is allowed to ask my Cheese out. But this counts doubly for Snivellus!"

"Actually, out of the four of us, I think Rem is the least like a wanker." James said pleasantly.

"Thank you James." Remus said.

"Nobody is allowed to ask her out! She must forever be single!" Sirius cried passionately leaping to his feet.

"Sirius?" Remus inquired quizzically. "Why are you so hung up on Bria? She's not your sister, she's not your girlfriend, and she is not related to any of us. So what has got your knickers in a bunch?"

After a moment in which everyone waited to hear his answer, Sirius exploded.

"BRIA IS NOT FAIR!"

"Yes she is!" Justin said, having been drawn to the dorm by all the commotion. "She is the fairest in the land!"

"No. Lily is."

"Alice." Frank voiced.

"I think I'm going to have to agree with Justin on this one James." Said Peter.

"Traitor."

Just then Bria's head came around the corner.

"Bria!" James exclaimed, as the rest of Bria followed her head. "You're not supposed to be in here. Peter hasn't got a shirt on!"

"I haven't? Ah!"

"Bria. Why are you in here?" Remus asked, rubbing his temples.

"Because, I you guys screaming, I decided to investigate."

"But this is the _boys _dorm." He pointed out.

"Yeah." Sirius added. "Read the sign."

Remus patted Sirius' shoulder. "There is no sign."

"Well, there should be."

"What _are_ you doing in here, Bria?" Remus asked, putting aside Sirius' childish demand.

"I was punted out of the common room by Samantha. She just punted me up the wrong staircase. Won't that shock her when she finds out? 'The _BOYS'_ dormitories? Shock! Horror!'"

"Breathe, Justin!" Remus commanded, noticing the hyperventilating boy in the corner.

"It's okay." Sirius said. He walked over to the slightly blue Justin. "She is in here ALL the time!"

"Not—While—I'm—in—here!" Justin gasped.

"Who?" Bria asked, plopping down on Sirius' bed.

"MY BED!"

"Whoa!" James said. "They are the same! They both hate people on their beds! How that's going to work out later in life, I haven't the slightest clue."

"Floor?" Peter asked.

"That would be uncomfortable." Remus said absentmindedly.

Before anyone could respond to this a voice, er, floated up the stairs.

"Shock! Horror! I threw Bria up the **BOYS** staircase!"

"Hey!" Bria said happily. "I was right! Ten points for me!"

"No," Sirius disagreed, "That wasn't the exact phrase you guessed"

"But it was close enough to count!"

"No. It does not count." Sirius said, trying once again to push Bria off the edge of his bed. "This is my side of the Gryffindor tower, I get to decide who gets points."

"Oh, just give her the ten points, Padfoot." James said with a sigh.

"Have you no pride, James? Ha! Take that!" Sirius said, as he finally managed to shove Bria off his bed.

Suddenly, they were distracted by a hollow 'thwump' as Justin's body hit the floor.

"What's happened to him?" Bria asked, after a long pause.

"He's fainted." Remus stated, matter-of-factly.

"Yes, thank you Remus. I can see that. Why has he fainted, though?"

"Because there's a girl in the dorm." Sirius said.

"Really? Where are you hiding her?" Bria looked around the small space.

"Um, Bria, you're the girl." Sirius patted her on the shoulder sympathetically.

"Really? But I'm in here all the time!"

"That's what I said. But he fainted anyway."

"That wasn't very intelligent of him."

"Bria, he's still not breathing. Maybe it would be best if you left." Remus said, checking to see if Justin was still alive.

"Fine. Be that way. I see how it is." She stormed out of their dorm.

"Oh, good. He's breathing again." Remus said, standing up. "Imagine trying to explain to McGonagall what had happened."

"That's kind of strange, how he woke up as soon as she left." Peter said, still not understanding what had happened.

"Pete, you're hopeless." James said, plunking himself down—Much to Sirius's distress—right on Sirius's bed. "Anyway, getting back on track, are we going after the spiders, for the best prank in Hogwarts history?"

"I think we are." Sirius rubbed his hands together gleefully.

"Tomorrow night then?" James asked.

"Yes. Tomorrow night." Sirius agreed.

"I was afraid of this." Remus mumbled.

**A/N. We're so sorry it has been so long since we last posted. It's really all Hannah's fault for going to school though. So if you wish to get angry, be angry with her, and not me. _Hannah: Nuh ah! It is so not my fault! At least, not entirely. We're coauthors. Mobs can't come after just one of us._ Mariah: No, but Maggie can! So she should just come after you. I am sure you see my point.**

**Hannah: Ah, but she sees you more.**

**Mariah: Precisely why I'm telling her to come after. Anyway, we will try and post again soon. I promise.**


	8. Cocoons and Nudist Colonies

**Chapter Eight**

Cocoons and Nudist Colonies 

Disclaimer: We do not own Harry Potter or any of its characters. But we do own Bria. And we refuse to sell her. Because she is my favourite. So you can't have her. She's mine. Anyway, on to the story. We dedicate this chapter to all our reviewers. Happy birthday.

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"Peter, for the last time, they don't eat rats!" Remus said, trying unsuccessfully to pull Peter off his shoulder.

"Are you sure?" Peter asked pitifully.

"Yes, I am sure."

"Well, actually…"

"James! Shut-up!" Remus said, as Peter finally relinquished his shoulder.

"They do eat rats? I knew it! I am going to be eaten!"

"No, Peter, They only eat big annoying shaggy black dogs, and stags." Remus soothed.

"Ha, someone is screwed."

"Yes, Sirius. You are." James said, with a snort of laughter.

"Who here is a stag?"

"Shut-up!"

"Remus! He told me to shut-up! He must be punished!"

"Punish him yourself, Sirius. I am busy. And please punish him after we have successfully left the forest. Remember, this was not my idea."

They walked a time in silence. Well, silent apart from Peter's whimpering and Sirius and James's squabbling. Well, maybe not so silent. In any case, they walked.

After a time they came to the spider's den.

"Hey look!" Sirius said, walking in to the midst of the den, hands in pockets. "No spiders! Sweet."

Suddenly, a spider web landed on his face. "AH!"

"Sirius," Remus said, leaning up against a log, "James threw that."

"Oh. I totally knew that."

"Let's just get the web and go." Peter pleaded.

"I've got one!" Sirius said, triumphantly.

"Hey! I threw that! I should get credit for it!" James complained.

"Well, you should have thought of that before you threw it at me, shouldn't you?"

"Let's just go then!" Remus said. "I don't know what you guys were thinking of doing if there were spiders here."

"Okay, let's go before they get back." Sirius agreed.

Just then, a spider fell on his head.

"Oh! It's cute! I want to name it Bob." Sirius said, pulling the tiny little spider off his head.

"No, Sirius. No more naming spiders Bob."

He pouted, "Alright, let's go, then." He walked over to the log that Remus had been leaning on and set the tiny spider free. "Good bye," he said, then he added in a whisper, "Bob."

Remus pretended not to hear that. "Very good, Sirius. Now, to get out of here before Bob's mummy comes back."

"Sounds like a good plan, Moony." James agreed. Sirius stuffed the web into his pack and led the group out of the clearing and back into the forest beyond it.

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"Unfold it on my Remus' bed. He won't mind being sticky."

Before Remus could protest the web was dumped onto his bed.

"Whoa, it's huge." Peter remarked.

"Kind of the point, Pete." James tugged at the corners so that the web was fully unfolded. "We couldn't very well use a little one."

"Yeah, " Sirius said. "Otherwise it wouldn't cover the whole door."

"What door?"

"Um, Pete? What do you think the web is for, if not to cover the Slytherin common room door?"

"To eat?"

"Why would we be eating a giant spider web?"

"I dunno. I think I am hungry."

Remus pulled a chocolate bar out from under his bed. "Here, have some chocolate."

"Yay!"

"I want chocolate!" Sirius said indignantly. "When I asked you, you said you didn't have any!"

"And you went and got some from Bria."

"Your point?"

"Anyway, what are we going to do with the web until the prank?" James asked.

"Wrap Remus in it?"

"Um, no. Please refrain, Sirius."

"Aw. You'd be a cute cocoon."

"I would not be a cute cocoon."

"Let's just shove it under his bed, with the chocolate bars" James suggested.

"Bar_s_? As in, more than one?" Sirius dove under the bed.

"Yes, that sounds like a good plan. Or we could just make Sirius the cocoon."

"Remus!" Peter said, through a mouthful of chocolate. "That is not like you!"

"Yes, but the difference is I was not really going to do it. James! Unwrap Sirius right now! I wasn't serious!"

"Heh heh." Sirius's voice came from inside the cocoon. "Sirius!"

"Let's just go to bed. " Remus said with a sigh.

"Heh heh. That's my name! Sirius." Sirius said, still laughing to himself.

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"James! You cannot bring a cocoon to breakfast!" Remus said, exasperatedly. "I do not care _what_ you think, McGonagall _will_ notice!"

"No she won't!" James disagreed vehemently. "He looks just the same as he always does."

"Yes, except he's wrapped in thread!"

"Well, yes. Except for that. But he did come to breakfast in thread that one time."

"Yes, and McGonagall noticed!"

"Sorry mate. No breakfast for you."

"I meant that you should unwrap him!"

"Justin! What have you done to my lovely cocoon?"

"Well, I unwrapped it."

"But why?"

"Remus said he'd tell Bria that I drool in my sleep."

"Bribery. Works every time. Remus, how devious of you."

"Why, thank you." Remus said dryly. "Now, I suggest that we go to breakfast and leave the web here in a safe place."

"Yeah," James shoved the web back under the bed, "Remember last time when Sirius wanted to start a nudists colony and showed up in the Great Hall with nothing on but a strategically placed ribbon?"

"That was most exciting, yes. McGonagall's head almost exploded." Remus remembered, as the four walked out of the portrait hole. "Although Dumbledore seemed to be very amused."

"Ack! It's Lily! Hide me!"

"James, very few people like to hide from the girls their in love with. Pray, what is wrong with you?"

"Aren't you nice Sirius?"

"I've always thought so."

"Well, you're not. Believe me."

"I am offended!"

"Well, you shouldn't be. As it's true." Bria stated, coming up from behind.

"Aren't you nice?"

"I've always thought so."

"Whoa! It's the one feeling that you can only say in French!" Peter said.

"Déjà vû." Remus told him.

"Yes, that one. Good thing someone here speaks French."

"Oui, ce n'est pas grand de pouvoir parler une autre langue et a vos amis n'a pas d'indice que vous dites? Par exemple, ' je veux baiser votre mère, vous baisant le bâtard. Vous la mauvaise odeur de merde. Pourquoi faire ne vous rentrez pas juste à la prostituée qui vous a mis au monde.' Voir, vous êtes confondu."

"What?"

"Never mind."

"Where'd Bria go?" Sirius asked, looking around in confusion.

"I think she went to breakfast without us."

"Ooh! Food!" Sirius took off for the great hall at a run, followed closely by the other Marauders.

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In the great hall… 

"James," Remus cajoled, piling bacon on to his plate, "You've got to eat."

"I'm not hungry." James replied, while idly pushing his food about his plate.

Sirius and Peter exchanged glances. Sirius heaved a great sigh, and threw his arm around his friend's shoulder.

"Listen, mate, you've got to eat, because if you don't, you'll become all creepy skinny like Snivellus. And then no girl will like you. Especially Evans."

James looked forlornly down the table to where Lily sat talking with Bria, who, for once, was not eating with the Marauders.

"All right. I'll eat." He said, taking a big bite of toast.

"That's it, mate." Sirius said, slapping his friend on the back. "But don't let yourself get fat either."

Just then, James felt a touch on the shoulder, and spun around to see Lily standing right behind him. (Later, James would say it had felt like the touch of an angel, but in reality, he had just thought it was one of the guys at the time.)

"Are you planning on coming to class, or are you just planning on sitting here and eating all day?" Lily asked, straightening back up.

James swallowed. "As you wish." He started to get up.

Sirius pulled him back down to the bench. "Not so fast, Prongs. You have to at least finish your toast.

James shook Sirius off, and walked away, leaving Sirius to stare after him in a state of shock.

"I don't believe it! Not even one piece of meat!" He said, staring at an unfixed point past Peter's ear. "A disgrace to the name of the Marauders! And over a bird!" His head snapped back to Remus. "A woman! A girl! A female! A member of the opposite sex!"

Yes Sirius." Remus soothed, "I know what a girl is."

That's a girl." Peter said, nodding in the direction of Rose, who had just entered the great hall, and was now making a beeline for the Marauders.

"Eep!" Sirius said, ducking under the table. "Hide me!"

Sirius popped his head back out from under the table. "Is she gone?"

"Why, Sirius Black! I haven't seen you all week!" Rose pried Sirius from beneath the table and pulled him toward her.

"Good Merlin." Sirius breathed.

The minute girl fluttered her eyelashes up at him.

"How about you walk me to class, huh?"

"Go on Padfoot," Remus said, nudging him off the bench. "We'll catch you up later."

As Rose dragged him away, Sirius made some very obscene gestures in Remus' direction, as Remus waved them off merrily.

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_Go on James, talk to her! There's no one else about. What's the worse that could happen? Don't answer that._

"Er, Lily, I was wondering if you'd be willing to tutor me in Potions, because I don't like that class, so therefore, I am not doing at all well, in that class."

There was a long pause, in which Lily considered.

"James, if you're just looking for a free snog session, it's not going to happen."

"No, no! No, I really want to learn!" James protested.

Lily considered again.

"All right. Meet me in the library at eight 'o clock sharp on Thursday evening."

"Thank you! Thank you so much Lily!" James did a triumphant little jig.

"Stop! Stop jumping about!" Lily grabbed his arm. "Maybe I'd best give you some dance lessons, too, before prom."

"Prom? What prom?" James stopped abruptly stopped dancing, confused.

"The one for seventh years at the end of the school year. The one we talked about at the last prefect meeting."

"Oh! That prom! I remember. I was paying attention, I swear."

"Honestly, Potter! I don't get why you're so incapable of remember things like important things like that. What prank you pulled on the Slytherins last week? No problem. What we talked about at the last prefect meeting? Out of your head before you leave the room."

"It's not my fault!" James complained. "There are reminders of our prank all over the school for weeks! There are no reminders of what we talked about at the meeting."

They looked at each other for a long moment. Lily raised her eyebrow.

"That was a really lame excuse, you know?"

"Yes, I know. It was the best I could come up with on such short notice."

"So are all your excuses that lame?"

"Yes. Pretty much."

"However do you get people to listen to you?"

"Well, normally I'm with Sirius, so it's me or him. Which one would you listen to, given that choice?"

"You've got a point." Lily conceded.

The two continued in this manner all the way to their class. James was very pleased with their progress.

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"…And then my cousin was like, 'No! I am so totally serious!' And I was like 'No way!' You know what we should do now? We should totally make out!" Rose waited expectantly for Sirius's reply, but Sirius had tuned her out, and was humming a mournful tune.

Finally he noticed the obnoxious girl staring at him. "Sorry, wasn't paying attention to you. What was that? Something about making out with your cousin?"

"No silly! I said _we_ should make out!" Rose said slapping his arm in what she thought was a flirtatious way.

"Er, no. That is to say, er, um, no!"

"All right, well, let's just hold hands on the way to class then!" Rose captured his hand in a death grip.

"Er, I…um, I forgot…I need…um, er, Cheese!"

And with that, he ran back towards the great hall.

When he arrived he heard Justin talking to someone he couldn't see.

"Um, Bria, I was wonder if maybe you wanted to go with me to that place, that is to say, Hogsmeade, and get a beer of the butter variety?"

_Did Justin just ask Bria out?_ Sirius wondered to himself, after he was done unscrambling Justin's confusing sentence.

There was a long pause as Bria considered. "Well…"

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**A/N. **So sorry it's been this long to update. We are having an impossible time getting together to write. We do hope you enjoyed this chapter, and we have plans to update again in two weeks. And then you will get to find out if Bria is going to go out with Justin. Okay. Well, I hope you liked this chappie, and we will get a move on with our next one. P.S. We swear the next chapter has a plot. Well, mostly.


	9. Realizations and Hostility

Chapter Nine 

Realizations and Hostility

Disclaimer: We do not own Harry Potter, or any of the other Potters either. Nor do we own any of J.K. Rowling's other characters.

A/N. okay! I know we are horrible, and it has been more than two weeks. I am REALLY sorry. We've both been a bit busy. And I swear I will put chapter 10 out in 2 weeks. Really.  
We won't screw up this time. And I know that some of you probably want to kill us, but please refrain from doing so. It would make us sad. And it would make our post far less frequent than they already are. Thank you!

Dedication: We dedicate this Chapter to Harmonyhearsvoises, because this Chapter actually has some plot, unlike our other chapters, and we thought it would be nice to dedicate the plotful chapter (Yes, I know that isn't a word leave me alone.) to the person who kept telling us we needed plot. So that is what we did. Now, on to the Chapter.

P.S. This chapter has some language, so if you're offended by language, we suggest you not read between the s there is only about a paragraph, maybe two, that has bad language,  
so don't read that necessarily. Now, really on to the chapter.

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Last chapter: Did Justin just ask Bria out? "Well…"

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"…All right then Justin." Bria said, with a small smile. "See you next weekend."

"Really?" Justin asked, shocked. "You'll really go out with me?"

"Yeah, sure, why not?" Bria asked, shrugging. Examining her nails, and paying the poor, shocked bloke absolutely no mind.

"Thank you!" Justin ran over to her, and started pumping her hand up and down.

He ran out of the great hall, and smack dab into Sirius.

"Sirius! Lovely day, isn't it? I can hardly wait for the weekend, can you? Has there been a lovelier day all this year? I really don't think there has. Well, I'd best be getting off to class. Wouldn't want to get detention. Especially not on such a lovely day!" And with that Justin skipped (Yes, Justin skipped) off to class.

"Hi Sirius." Bria said, stepping out into the corridor.

"What?" Sirius asked, looking rather incredulous.

"I said 'hi'."

"'Hi'?"

"Yes, hi. What's the matter with you? Was there something wrong with your bacon this morning? You're acting rather odd today."

"Bacon?

"Yes, Padbutt. Bacon. That's what I mean. You're just repeating things."

"Repeating things?"

"See? There you go again! You're just repeating everything I say, or at least some portion of it."

"Well, you're going out with Justin!"

"What's that got to do with repeating things?"

"Nothing! But you're going out with Justin! Which is just absurd!"

"Absurd?"

"Now you're repeating!"

"How is it absurd?" Bria asked, her voice beginning to rise. "Is it just because he's one of your friends?"

"No. Justin is not my friend!" Sirius said, vehemently.

"Then how is it absurd?"

"Because, Bria! You're not supposed to go out with anybody at all!" Sirius burst out.

"What? What is that supposed to mean Sirius?" Bria was beginning to get very annoyed. Who did Sirius think he was? "I mean, honestly! I have dated before! In case you haven't noticed!"

"Yeah, But why Justin? Of all the people in Hogwarts, why him?" Sirius asked, running his hand through his hair.

"Because, he asked me! Why does it matter to you who I date anyway?"

"It just does! You know what? You can't go out with him!" Sirius proclaimed.

"I can't go out with him?" Bria asked, indignantly.

"No! You can't! I forbid you!"

"You forbid me? Just who do you think you are? You're not my mother; you're not my father! You're not even my brother! You have no authority over me at all! You're just my best friend." Bria shouldered past him, on her way to class. "And I don't think you can even be called that anymore."

"You know what? Fuck you, you crazy wanker!" Sirius shouted at her back.

"What did you just say to me?" Bria asked, whirling around to face him again.

"You know what, Bria? Just fuck you, you psycho bitch! Just fucking leave, since that is so fucking obviously what you fucking want!"

"Who's the psycho one here? I don't even understand what I did!"

Sirius took another deep breath, undoubtedly to continue screaming at Bria, and promptly fainted.

"This is an incredibly weird morning. Even for Hogwarts." Bria said, looking at Sirius sprawled shape.

Sirius? Sirius, wake-up!" Bria said, slapping his face, none to lightly, (She was still pissed at him, after all) trying to make him regain consciousness.

Sirius's eyes shot open scaring Bria, and causing her to nearly topple over, and he grabbed Bria's arm. "Bria, you can't go out with Justin." He implored, with pleaded eyes.

"You know what, Sirius?" Bria said, standing back up, and dusting her robes off. "You can't tell me what to do. And even if you could, I wouldn't listen."

And with that, Bria turned, leaving Sirius lying on the floor, and went to class.

Sirius lay where Bria had left him for what seemed like an age after she left. Why was he so concerned with whom she went out? Why did he care if she went out with Justin? It wasn't as if he wanted to go out wit her, right? I mean he wasn't interested in Bria, was he?

He raised himself up on his arms, dark eyes widened and the boy moaned, letting his head fall back to the floor with a hollow 'thunk'.

"Oh, shit!"

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Later that night, in the common room, James was floating on a cloud of euphoria when Sirius came and plopped down beside him.

"Prongs mate, I have a problem!"

"I'm happy!" James replied, smiling idiotically

"That's lovely. I'm not. I have a very big problem."

"Lily's going to tutor me."

"That's nice, but I-"

"And give me dance lessons."

"Prongs! I have a-"

"Then we're going to get married."

"Ugh! There is just no talking to you after an encounter with Evans." Sirius picked his stuff up and walked over to where Remus was sitting reading a book.

"Moony, I have a problem."

"And have kids." James continued from across the room. "Lots and lots and lots of kids."

"And what might your problem be?" Remus asked, turning to his slightly saner friend.

"I think I may be in love with Bria!"

"Hmm, that is a problem."

"I am aware of this!" Sirius said, through gritted teeth. He had such useless friends. "That is why I said I had a problem. Now, help me solve it!"

"And grow old together!"

"James! Shut up!" Sirius said turning to his obnoxious friend. "No one is listening to you anymore, so you may as well, be quiet!" He grabbed Remus's shoulder. "You don't understand! This is really, really, really bad! I like Cheese!"

Remus detached himself from Sirius's grasp; put his hands on both of his friend's shoulders and looked him in the eye.

"Sirius, look at me. Nothing is going to be fixed by you giving me a bruise. I promise. Really, it just won't help anything. Let's just calm down and talk rationally about this-"

"I can't be calm, Moony! I'm anything but calm!"

"I can see that. Now, what makes you think you're in love with her?"

Sirius gawked at his mate. "You've never liked anyone before have you?"

Remus colored almost instantaneously. "That, Padfoot, is completely beside the point."

"Trust me Moony, when you like someone, you can just tell."

"Very well, then. So what exactly is the problem? Don't gape at me, honestly! I only mean that you have known Bria for years, I'm sure that If you told her how you feel she would understand."

"Um, after what I said to her earlier I doubt she's ever going to speak to me again."

Before Remus could respond, Rose came and just sat down right on Sirius's lap.

"Where'd you go earlier? You were walkin' me to class one minute, and the next you were gone." Rose said playing with the hair curling right in the front of Sirius's forehead.

Sirius looked to Remus for help, but he was just having a good laugh, at Sirius's expense, behind his book.

"Cheese! Save me!" Sirius pleaded, more out of habit than anything else.

Bria looked at him with an emotion he couldn't quite identify in her eyes, and then looked away again.

"Save yourself. It's absolutely none of my business who you're going with. Rose can have you."

"Bria." Sirius whispered too softly for anyone, even Remus, to hear. "But, Bria, I need you."

Emma, who had been sitting nearby for the whole scene, took pity on Sirius and, with some difficulty, pulled Rose up by the arm. "Come on Rose, let's go."

Remus, no longer laughing, looked at his friend long and hard.

"What exactly did you say to her?"

"Er, I don't remember my exact words, but it was something to the extent of for bidding her to go out with Justin, calling her a crazy wanker, I think." Sirius colored deeply.

"Are you sure you love her?"

"If I said yes, and then told you I swore at her for a bit, would I be in any more trouble than I already am?"

"Yes. Probably."

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In the girls' dorm…

Bria walked into the dorm looking at her feet. Why is Sirius treating me like this? What has happened? Bria crashed into her bed. "Ow."

"Okay Bria, what happened between you and Sirius?" Emma asked, from the edge of her own bed.

Bria looked up. "What do you mean?"

"C'mon Bria, stop pretending that nothing happened. Everyone's noticed you're acting strangely. I mean, you just walked into a bed, and you only said 'ow'."

"Nothing happened between me and Sirius. Everything is fine between us." She said, flopping on to her already occupied bed.

"Omigod! You're squishing my hair!" Came the muffled drawl from beneath Bria. She struggled back up to a sitting position.

"I just did my hair!" Rose complained following suit. "Now what am I supposed to do?"

"Oh. Sorry Rose."

"Okay. Now I am positive something is wrong!" Emma said, looking at the disheveled pair. "Not only is someone on your bed, but that someone is ROSE! You hate her."

"No one hates me, Em." Rose said, trying in vain to smooth her hair.

"Do NOT call me 'Em'. Only Bria ever calls me that."

"You guys, why are you arguing? And can you please get off my bed? I want to go to sleep now."

"Bria, it is hardly 10:00 PM. You never go to bed before 2 or 3 AM. Won't you please tell me what's wrong?"

"Really, Em, nothing is wrong. I swear. I am FINE!" Bria said, snapping a little.

"See? This is normal. The hacked off Bria I know and love most of the time is half gone tonight though. Where did she go, and why?"

"You love her? Why? She is evil."

"I am fine, Emma. Really, I am just a bit tired."

"Well, all right. But whenever you feel like talking, know that I am here for you."

"Okay." Emma hugged Bria, and dragged Rose away, letting Bria go to sleep.

She lay there for hours, just trying to figure out why Sirius had freaked out like that. It makes no sense. I have been dating since I was 12. Why is he being so weird about it now?

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The next night…………………………………………………………

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Lily walked into library, at 7:52 exactly, and found James already there and studying his potions book. Okay. Why is James already here? Has all of Hogwarts gone crazy? First Bria acting nice to even Rose, and now James is studying. Next thing you know, Remus Lupin is going to be a mass murderer.

James looked up from his book. "Lily! You're here! I've been trying to read my textbook, but it's hard to understand. Do I really need to know what it says?"

"Of course not James." Lily said exasperatedly.

James's face lit up. "Really?"

"No James. Not really. But I will make it easier for you to get through. Every time you get done with a chapter, I will give you something." James's face lit up again. "But not a kiss." And fell.

"No kiss?"

"No. But how about a candy, or bonbon?"

"Oh, all right. That would be yummy at least. But for now, we should study. I don't want to fail this next exam."

"You honestly want to learn, don't you?" Lily asked, dumbfounded.

"Yes. I really do, learning with you just makes things more enjoyable for me." James said with a roguish grin.

Okay. This is a bit more like James. He is flirting, which doesn't freak me out as much as him…not.

"Okay James. Let's get going. What two ingredients do you need to mix together before you can begin the Definius potion?"

"Um…The blue ones?" James guessed.

"What sort of guess is that? It didn't even make sense. Not even a little. It is dragon's blood, and werdle weed."

"I knew that. Really." James claimed, flushing a dark pink.

"And when is the best time to brew this potion?"

"The full moon?"

"5:00 AM. It doesn't matter what time of month."

"That doesn't make sense to me." James complained, scratching his head.

"It has to do with the position of the sun in the sky, not the position of anything else, so it doesn't really matter what day it Is at all. Do you understand that at all?"

"I think so. Since the sun is always in the same place in the sky at 5, it doesn't matter where it is near other planets?"

"Not quite, but that doesn't really matter."

And so it went for several hours.

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Several hours later

"Lily?"

"Yes James?"

"As much as I am enjoying this study session, I think we should head up to the dorms, as it is two AM, and we do have class tomorrow."

"All right. I never thought I would see the day where you would study until 2 AM though. I am quite shocked."

And so they got up, and went up to the common room together. James was in complete bliss.

Yay! We updated! Be proud! Come now, I do mean it. With any luck we should be able to update in two weeks. I am sure we will at that. If we screw up, you can deprive me of my Starbucks for a week. Really. See? I won't forget to post now, because I love my caffeine. So you will get a chapter soon. Love you all, and thanks for bearing with.

Read and Review, as always, and I will worship you forever! I swear!

Loves!


	10. Heartfelt Heart to hearts

Chapter Ten 

**Heartfelt Heart-to-hearts**

**Okay y'all, here's chapter 10. Enjoy yourselves. **

**Disclaimer: Harry PotterJ.K. Rowling's – us. So it is not really ours. There. Now we can't be sued.**

**We dedicate this chapter Zak. Because he was useful last chapter when we were having issues. So yes. Enjoy all.**

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_Bria's Heart-to-heart_

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Bria woke the next morning feeling even worse than she felt yesterday. _Ugh! I feel like shit! You'd think I'd been up drinking all night the way my head hurts. And my eyes. That boy is going to suffer!_ Bria felt a fresh wave of tears gathering on the insides of her eyes when she thought about Sirius. _That bugger is so screwed up! I am miserable because of him! _"I don't even know why I'm crying. There is no reason for me to cry. He is just a great arse."

"Bria!" Came Emma's voice from the other side of the drawn curtains. "You're crying! It is really time to get up. I told all the teachers you were sick, but you are not supposed to sleep until three PM on a Friday. You ready to tell me what's the matter?"

"No. Go away. I just want to sleep!"

"Bria, you have slept for the last seventeen hours. I think there is something wrong, and I think you should tell a friend. Normally if you didn't want to talk to me, I'd suggest you went to Sirius, but somehow I doubt this is a good idea."

"No! It's his fault I'm still in bed. He is an arse!" Bria said, sitting up and flinging her bed curtains open to reveal Emma standing there with some herbal tea.

"You want some tea?" Emma offered, holding the cup under Bria's nose.

There was a brief pause as Bria considered the offer. Bria sighed and took the cup in her hands and gestured for Emma to sit.

Emma smiled and crawled next to her friend. Sitting cross-legged across from each other Emma watched Bria test the temperature of her tea. "Bria," Emma said, "Spill. No one even knows what happened."

"I bet Black told James or Remus."

"Black! Brie, you are definitely not on a last name basis with that boy. You call him 'Padbutt' for goodness sake! I am going to kill you if you don't start explaining."

"Well, he doesn't get to be Sirius anymore. He is not allowed to speak to me ever again."

"See? Even this anger is less scary to me than your just being hurt and sad. What did he do?"

"Okay, so you know that Justin has had a boner for me for years, right?"

"Yeah. Everyone knows that."

"Okay, so yesterday he asked me out, and I said yes, and Sirius started screaming at me, and telling me I wasn't allowed to date. So I told him not to tell me what to do anymore, and then I said I didn't know if he was even my friend anymore. And I left, but I still cannot figure out what the problem is. It's not like I haven't dated before, and he has never done this before. It's like he just really hates Justin I guess."

"Bria, you never let Sirius get to you. He is always forbidding you to do things. And you never listen."

"Yeah, but it's never like he meant it before. This time, it was like he really expected me to obey. Which he has never really done before. I don't know what's wrong with him!" Bria finished, as Emma took the tea away so she wouldn't throw it across the room, as she was prone to do.

"Bria, don't you think there may be more to this whole thing than you're thinking? Maybe he knows that Justin is planning to use you or something. You really don't know."

"No. He was just being a spiteful bugger!" Bria flung herself backwards.

"Bria, I know that he hacked you off, but you really need to let it all go." Emma said, pulling her friend back up. "I think that you need a trip to Hogsmeade. There is one tomorrow you know?"

"Yes. I'm going with Justin. That's what started this whole mess!"

"Oh. Well, then maybe you just need a restful weekend, and shouldn't go to Hogsmeade."

"No. I am not going to let Black dictate my life."

"Where'd you learn a big word like 'dictate'?"

"From Remus."

"I figured."

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"REMUS!" Sirius screamed from across the corridor. "Why isn't she here?"

"For the twentieth time Padfoot, I don't know." Remus said calmly, once Sirius had caught up with him.

"She wasn't in any of our classes, and that is not normal. Even for Bria! Why isn't she being here!"

"Maybe because she's avoiding you because you hacked her off so badly."

"Now how did I hack her off? That doesn't make sense at all."

"Have you already forgotten about what happened yesterday after breakfast?"

"What happened?"

"With Bria!"

"Oh. Right. I was trying to forget about that. Remus, what am I going to do mate? I can't just tell her I'm sorry. And I definitely cannot tell her I like her. That would just be horrible! And then she would know!"

"That would be the point, wouldn't it?"

"Why would I want to do that? That could ruin our care-free friendship."

"Padfoot! Wake up! It is messed up already. You are not going to regain the same friendship. Ever! And you have taken to abusing exclamation points since she got mad at you! Not that you didn't before, but these are annoying exclamation points."

"I was talking, how do you know if I was abusing exclamation points. Words don't come with exclamation points."

"I just know."

"Well, what am I supposed to do about Cheese?"

"I don't know, Sirius. Maybe you should figure it out for yourself this time."

"But I need your help! Without it, I'll never get Bria to forgive me!"

Remus sighed. "Sirius, I can't tell you what to say. Then she'd be forgiving me. Not you. This you need to figure out for yourself. And don't just go to James. He would be even less helpful than I am. He'd tell you to steal her bed, and refuse to give it back until she'd forgiven you or something."

"Steal her bed! Great idea, mate! I'll do it! Moony, you're the best!"

"No! That is not a good idea! Stop. Sit! Stay! Okay. Promise me you won't do anything bad."

Sirius looked at his friend in despair from his vantage point on the floor. "But, I don't know what to do. But I know that I am not okay without Bria."

Remus sat down next to him, ignoring the stream of students passing them by. "Sirius, if you're not okay without Bria then you have to figure out what you need to do so she can forgive you. You cannot force her to do anything, but you can try to make her see how much you need her. Who knows, maybe she needs you too."

Sirius nodded and gazed absently across the corridor. "Remus, you are right (as usual) but one thing."

"What is that?"

"You're a sap."

"I know."

"Good. As long as we agree."

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_Rose's Heart-to-heart (Yes. We know. Rose doesn't have a heart. This is not to be taken seriously)_

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Rose wandered down the hall. "I want Sirius! And I always get what I want!"

"Well maybe you should try giving more and taking less." Came a voice from behind her. "Give to God, and you shall have your reward."

"Now, why would I want to give to God?"

"Because, that's what good Christians do."

"Well, I'm not a good Christian. I'm a witch, aren't I?"

"Maybe you should be. Then God would give you the things you crave."

"Who are you anyway?"

"Samantha. I used to be friends with Bria, and then I saw the light. Now I can't spend time around that girl. She does not respect God."

"So, if I give into this God you so worship, do I get Sirius?"

"I suppose it's a possibility. God grants many gifts."

"I don't really want to be like you, but I want Sirius. Isn't there a happy medium?" Rose pouted a little, and scanned the crowded corridor for Sirius. "I just want him to be in love with me. And hate that girl Bria. She is just in the way. You know what I want from Sirius?"

"What?"

Rose leaned toward Samantha, and whispered something in her ear. "Oh Merlin!" Samantha shouted, jumping back away from Rose several feet. "I hope that God NEVER grants you that wish! That is unchristian."

"Yes, but so am I."

"I hope that God refuses you everything you ever wish for now! That anyone would wish for God to do such a thing, it is blasphemy." Samantha crossed herself, and ran away.

"I have no idea what's wrong with that girl, but it is a bit insane how strongly she reacted to my wish. I bet she used to wish such things. Before God kidnapped her." Rose continued to wander down the corridors, wondering how she could make her wish come true.

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_Emma and Remus's Heart-to-heart_

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Emma finally left Bria in her bed, after arguing for hours about whether or not she should come to dinner. She had a pretty good idea that she knew why Sirius had been so hacked off when Bria had said she'd go out with Justin. And she was positive she knew why Bria was so upset. Now she just had to confer with Remus. If she could ever find him.

"Emma! I've been wondering where you were." Emma turned, and saw Remus standing right behind her.

"Oh! I've been looking for you. I was talking to Bria up in the girls' dorm. She is in a sorry state."

"Yeah. So is Sirius."

"Do you know why he yelled at her? Because I think I know why she's so upset about him yelling at her."

"Yeah. I know why he was so hacked off. He is in love with her."

"I thought so. She's in love with him too."

"I hoped so. Those two are so hopeless. What in the world are we supposed to do with them?" Remus asked, running his hand through his hair, as he was prone to doing. A nervous habit he'd picked up from Sirius.

"Merlin. I don't know. But we had best figure it out soon. Otherwise, Hogwarts is doomed. They will never let us be at peace." The two started down towards the great hall. "I think we should make them realize how much they miss one and another, and then they will snog and all will be well."

"Yes. Except that Sirius thinks the way to get Bria to forgive him is to steal her bed."

"And Bria thinks she should de-man him. But that isn't really all that abnormal. She'll regret all her attempts once she figures out that she's in love with him."

"You mean that she hasn't figured this out yet?"

"Not as such. She just thinks she's mad that he forbade her to do something. She doesn't know why she went emotionally numb though. I wish our friends were more intelligent. But instead they are just going to beat around the bush for months, graduate, and then try never to see each other ever again."

"So we should make sure this doesn't happen. They are honestly worse than Lily and James, By the way. How's Lily coming?"

"She's less stubborn than Bria, but she really believes that she hates him. Which makes her even more difficult than Bria. Who knows when she's going to get over herself. It could take all year for all I know."

"Terrific. A long-term project. I guess we're in this together, though, so hopefully with the two of us it might be faster."

"Perhaps. The wizarding world should thank us. We deserve a medal for--"

"Putting up with them? I agree."

"Indeed. Dinner?"

"Sounds reasonable."

"I do worry about them though. What if they never realize that the perfect person for them is just right there? Has always been right there. Right before their eyes? And with Bria and Sirius, it's their best friend in the entire world. The one person that Bria really relates to, and now she's not even speaking to him. They need to work this out. Pronto." Emma said.

With that, they walked into the dining hall, and joined the rest of their friends (Minus Bria).

"Hey, Emma, where's Bria?" Sirius asked, before she'd even sat down. "Isn't she coming to dinner? Is she dying? Is she still mad at me? Is she ever going to forgive me? She wasn't in any classes today. She is normally better than all that."

"Wow. Hi to you too Sirius. Bria isn't coming to dinner, she isn't dying, she is still mad at you, she might forgive you, if you play your cards right, she slept through classes, but she'll be going to Hogsmeade tomorrow. So she is not really sick. Don't worry, and DO NOT try to break into the girls' dorm this time. Samantha would have a heart attack."

"Yeah. That girl's gotten weird this year. No bible camp for me, if this is what it does to people."

Just then, Rose wandered over. "Hi Sirius, hon. How are you this evening. How is that prick, Bria doing this evening?"

"Rose, don't mention Bria to me. You don't know her, and I don't like you. So go away."

"Wow. How uncharacteristic of you Sirius. I think you are making headway already."

"Toward what, Moony?"

"Getting Bria back."

"How was that making headway?"

"Rose hacks Bria off, so by telling her to sod off, you are doing Bria a favor, too bad she isn't here to have witnessed that. That might have made her forgive you. Too bad."

"You are too kind Moony."

**O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.OO.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O**

Yay! We updated again! Be proud. Okay. We don't know when the next time we are going to update is going to be, but we'd just like to say that we don't mean to offend any Christians with Samantha.

_Hannah: Yeah, what we're trying to do is exaggerate certain stereotypes. _

**_Mariah_: _Yeah, we're doing this with Americans too._**

_Hannah: Yeah. We're from America, and we are not like Rose. Anything but._

_**Mariah: Yeah. I'm even from the south. I am poking fun at my own. We really have nothing against Christians. Or any other religions. So, please don't be offended.**_


	11. Hogsmeade Horrors

Chapter Eleven 

Hogsmeade Horrors

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Disclaimer: Okay. We don't own it. Neither do you. Unless J.K. Rowling is reading the fic. In which case, she does. But, whatever.

Ths Chapter is dedicated to Maggie. Thanks to her threats toward my life, this chapter is up tonight, instead of in two days.

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"Brie, are you sure you really want to go out with Justin? You really don't have to." It was the morning of the Hogsmeade trip, and Emma was trying desperately to get Bria to reconsider her date.

"Yes. I am sure! I don't want to not, because then Sirius would think I was not doing this because he's forbidden me to. So I have no choice, do I?"

"You know, this is insane. I am sure that Sirius is sorry for what he did. But you don't have to go out with a boy you don't like to prove him wrong."

"Who said I didn't like him?" Bria was beginning to get annoyed at her friends. They were all convinced that she had no interest in Justin, and though this was true, she did wish they would stop making the assumption. She could like Justin. She just didn't.

"You know, you are one of the most stubborn people I know. Even Lily is willing to admit when she does things just to bug James. But you won't admit that you do things just to hack Sirius off."

"I'm not. I really WANT to go out with Justin."

"Yeah. Because Sirius doesn't want you to."

"Guess what?" Alice asked, running up to them from the common room, and cutting off any reply Bria might have had.

"What?" Emma asked somewhat relieved that she didn't have to argue with Bria anymore.

"Frank asked me to Hogsmeade earlier! I have to go get ready!" And with that she scampered off.

"Is she aware that we're supposed to be leaving in ten minutes?" Bria asked, laughing somewhat.

"I doubt it. But as you can see, you're not nearly excited enough for this date."

"Well—"

"Ugh! I don't believe it! James just asked me to Hogsmeade! I cannot believe the nerve of that boy! Just because I'm tutoring him in potions, he thinks he can start asking me out again! I cannot believe him! I am going to kill him! Did anyone see which way he went? He must be punished." Lily finally stopped storming for a minute, and glared demonically at her two friends.

"Lily, are you okay? It's not that big a deal." Bria said, attempting to be soothing, not something she was normally particularly good at.

"Oh! You are in a huge fight with Sirius right now because you were asked out. I'm not as bad as you."

"Yeah, but SIRIUS didn't ask me out, it was because someone else did. So I am not being as bad as you."

"I must find him and kill him. Bye Emma, I'll meet you at The Three Broomsticks after I've found and killed James."

"Bye." Emma said with a sigh. "How do I pick my friends? Not a normal one among them."

"What about Remus? He's pretty normal." Bria asked mischievously.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I think you know."

"Really? I'm pretty sure I don't. Honestly, Brie, I don't get you sometimes. If I didn't know better, I would think you were suggesting that I fancy Remus."

"Well, you have to admit it, Em, you have been spending an awful lot of time with him. Alone."

Tell her we've been plotting ways to bring her a Sirius together, or tell her I like Remus? Emma mused. But ho! A third option, you say? Ah yes, deny everything. "Bria, you are insane. Remus and I are in no way romantically involved and we have no plot to be so in the future."

Bria held up her hands. "Fine. Fine. But I'm sure I'm not the only one who thinks it."

Emma grumbled something and shoved Bria toward her wardrobe. "Dress. You'll be late."

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Sirius was cold. He was cold and annoyed, actually, but mostly cold. It was only mid October but the air had cooled down considerably since September ended and left Sirius alone, without a scarf, and cold.

He knew that waiting outside just to make sure Bria didn't pass him was insane and ridiculous. Somehow, though, he couldn't make himself turn around and go into a shop. He had awoken that morning feeling cold and annoyed. The feeling had stuck. Originally, he had told himself that he would simply not go to Hogsmeade today. Now, however, at 11:30, he found himself just outside Zonko's, scanning the street for Bria. She was wearing a brightly coloured hat today – he'd seen it from the other end of the Gryffindor table that morning as they started the day ignoring each other – so she wouldn't be hard to spot.

Perhaps she's decided not to go after all. He thought brightly. His hopes were dashed as her brightly coloured hat came bouncing up the street. The hat was not alone. It was on Bria's head, and Bria was walking next to Justin – the great wanker – as they made their way into The Three Broomsticks.

Sirius shivered and glanced around for someone who might have an extra scarf.

The perfect candidate appeared from a bookstore. Ahh, Remus, he always has scarves.

He skulked ever closer with the intention of just snatching it off his neck. But Remus turned at just the moment Sirius was reaching for his neck.

"Were you planning on strangling me then, Padfoot?"

"No. I just want your scarf. Aha!" He managed to get the scarf off his friend's neck and started to run off.

"Accio scarf!"

"Aw! Moony, that just wasn't nice! I'm cold."

"Well, maybe you should have thought of this earlier. I won't relinquish my own scarf, but I will buy you a butterbeer. Come on." Remus held the door to The Three Broomsticks for Sirius.

"No! I can't go in there. Why don't you just bring me one out here?"

"Because, I don't want to."

"But I don't want to go in there."

"Is Bria in there?" Remus asked, closing the door again.

"Perhaps." Sirius shoved his hands into the pockets of his jacket and walked a few paces away from the pub, glaring moodily at a couple down the road.

"Sirius," Remus called soothingly, "You're going to have to face them eventually. You share a dorm with Justin, you see Bria every day in classes and at meals… You're going to be in each other's company. Just come inside and get a butterbeer, okay?"

Sirius sighed. "Couldn't we just go down to the Hog's Head?"

"No. We couldn't. We are going to someplace sanitary. We are going in here."

Sirius gave in and allowed himself to be pulled into The Three Broomsticks. "You know, you should have come here with Emma."

"Why would I have done that?" He looked at his feet so Sirius wouldn't notice the color rising in his face.

Sirius handed Remus a bottle of butterbeer and grinned over the rim. "Oh, well, I dunno."

"You're an arse."

Sirius licked the rim of his bottle and Remus shoved him away. "Go away, Sirius."

"Hey, you dragged me in here."

"Well, tone it down, will you?"

"Aw, you're no fun. I didn't mean anything, and you know that."

"You don't really mean that. You're just afraid you won't get free butterbeer."

"I can't afford my own."

"I know."

"Which is where you come in."

Remus rolled his eyes. "Someday I'm going to make you pay me back for all the times I've bought you things."

"Sure you will. Just like you'll someday get a girlfriend."

"I will." Remus said, somewhat defensively.

"Hello, there's Bria. Bloody terrific. Why am I in here again?"

"Because I lured you with drink."

"Can I leave now that I've had it?"

"No. You must go and talk to Bria."

"That wasn't part of the deal! I don't want to!" Sirius said, slouching low in his seat.

"Bria! Come here!" Remus waved his arm over his head, making it impossible to miss.

"Thanks Moony. That isn't hard to miss at all is it? Is she coming over?"

"Yes. And she's bringing Justin."

"Ah! Now you've done it! Are you trying to kill me? Where's James and his invisibility cloak when you need it?"

"Sirius, I think you should- Get out from under the table! Stop hiding." Remus attempted to drag Sirius out into the room again.

"Yeah Remus?" Sirius could see Bria's shoes poking out from beneath her robes.

"Um, are you having fun?"

"Yeah. Is that all you wanted, and why are you here alone?"

"Er, yes. That's all I wanted. Have fun then."

Once Bria's shoes had gone away Sirius came back out.

"Thanks for making me look like a prat, Sirius."

"You were acting like a git." Sirius got up and grabbed Remus's scarf. "I'm leaving."

"Where are you going?"

"I have a date."

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"Rose! Can I talk with you for a moment?"

Rose turned to see Sirius running up to her. Am I still asleep, or did Sirius just say he wanted to talk to me?

"Sirius! How are you?" She pouted a little in hopes of seducing him.

"Er, listen, I wanted to apologize for ditching you all the time. You want to hang out for the rest of this trip? We could grab a butterbeer."

"Yes! That sounds perfect!" Rose quickly attached herself to his arm, and started dragging him along the street.

Sirius had a flash of foreboding, but shoved it away. If Bria could do whatever she wanted, so could he.

"Okay, let's go."

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Bria and Justin walked into entrance hall. Okay. That was a lame date. Maybe Emma's right and I only went on it because Sirius told me I couldn't. I should apologize to him.

Just then she saw him coming into the castle grounds. "What perfect timing."

"Justin, I'm gonna go and talk to Sirius, I'll see you at dinner." With that she headed back out into the cold.

Sirius was really beginning to regret saying he wanted to spend time with Rose. She was VERY annoying, and wouldn't shut up. "…And then he was like, 'No! I swear, I'm NOT gay!' and Mischa was like, 'Yes you are, stop denying it.'…"

Sirius saw someone walking across the grounds towards them. "Bria?"

"No! I'm Rose." Rose stopped and pouted. "Why would you call me Bria? I'm prettier than she is!"

Sirius tried to shake Rose off. "No. Bria is over there. Will you let go of me? I want to talk to her."

"But Sirius!"

"Sirius? Can I talk to you?"

"Yeah."

"Bria! Wait!" Justin came running up from the castle. "Do you want to go out again sometime?"

"Sure. I'll see you at dinner Justin. Bye."

"Um, Bria, can we talk later?" Sirius asked, no longer feeling like talking to Bria at all. "I'm in the middle of a date with Rose."

"You went out with Rose?"

"Yeah. And I'm still on my date. So, do you mind?"

Bria stared at him in shock. What in the world had happened to him? Had he gone completely crazy? First he started yelling at her for no apparent reason, and now he was dating Rose? Did he have a brain tumor or something?

"Okay. I'll see you later I guess."

Bria turned, and headed back towards the castle. She decided she'd just go to bed. She didn't really feel like dealing with Emma and her questions. Besides, Emma would probably be talking to Remus all through dinner. She smiled to herself. There was definitely something going on there. She wondered how long it would take for them to admit it.

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The next day

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Bria woke up the next day feeling somewhat reminiscent of the day after Sirius had flipped out on her. She wandered into the loo and started brushing her hair. She'd been in there for a few minutes when she heard someone coming. She really didn't feel like dealing with anyone, so she went into a stall to finish brushing her hair.

"Did you hear about Rose?" She heard a girl, whose name she couldn't remember, ask someone. She thought they might be 5th years.

"Yeah! I can't believe it. I thought Sirius had more taste than all that."

"Me too. I would never have thought that he liked her from the way he's always running away from her."

"Not to mention, I saw her hanging out with Samantha. I never would have thought someone like that would sleep with a guy on the first date. I would have figured she was saving herself for marriage."

What did she just say? Sirius SLEPT with Rose? I can't believe it! Now I know he's gone crazy! Maybe we should get him to St. Mungo's.

The girls were talking again. "Shame, really. I mean, everyone knows he's slept with a few girls but I've always imagined him to be a little less shallow."

"I'd still let him sleep with me."

"I'm sure you would, but still. I mean, Rose told me herself this morning. It's not like it's a rumor, or anything. Why would Rose lie?"

"Sirius Black, sleeping with the exchange student. Pity."


	12. Serious Rumors

Chapter Twelve 

**Serious Rumors**

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Disclaimer: We do not own any of the Marauders. Or Lily. Or Snape. Or the Professors. Or Hogwarts. But we DO own some of the characters. Including Bria. We won't give her up either. Not even for money. Unless you have a LOT of it. Then maybe we'll consider.

We would like to dedicate this chapter to our 100th reviewer. Zak. Thanks for reviewing every chapter, and being the one hundreth.

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_Last Chapter: "Sleeping with the exchange student. Pity."_

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Bria sat down on the toilet, and waited until the two girls left. When she heard the door close behind them she left her stall, and went to go and find Emma or Lily.

As soon as she left, she ran into Remus. "REMUS!" Bria cried, throwing herself at him.

"What? Bria, what's wrong?"

"Where was Sirius last night?"

"What?"

"Where was Sirius?"

"I don't know. He didn't come to the dorms until late."

"It's true then! Why would he?"

"Why would he what?" Remus was very confused, and very stuck, and very much at a loss. He was not used to Bria throwing herself sobbing at anyone.

"Why would Sirius sleep with Rose?"

"WHAT?"

"Some girls were just talking about it in the loos. They said that Rose told them herself, so it must be true. Why would Sirius sleep with that Ho-bag?"

"Wait, Bria, since when do you trust Rose?"

"I am going to go and find someone. I'll see you later."

And with that, Bria ran off in search of Snape.

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Sirius was whistling as he headed down to breakfast. He was in a very fine mood. He had managed to shake Rose off shortly after having run into Bria, and had spent the evening in the kitchen. One of his very favorite spots in all of Hogwarts. He had decided to forgive Bria for agreeing to go out with Justin again, and wanted to apologize for being an arse.

He was almost to the great hall when someone pulled him into a hidden nook right off the corridor.

"Reemy! Why in the world are you dragging me from breakfast? I am HUNGRY!"

"Sirius, I am only going to ask you once, and you have to be honest with me. Did you sleep with Rose to get back at Bria?"

Sirius looked like he was going to be sick. "Moony, what sort of question is that? Why in the world would I sleep with Rose? She is an arse."

"Well, I didn't think it was at all like you, but Bria said some girls in the loos said that Rose said that you did."

"And since was Rose truthful? And since when did Bria pay attention to bathroom gossip?"

"I don't know the answer to either of those questions, but Bria is very angry with you right now. You might want to let her know that nothing happened last night."

"Right! After breakfast, that is first on my to-do list!"

"No, Sirius. Now! Go and find her BEFORE breakfast."

"Do I have to? I really wanted food."

"Now, Sirius!"

"Fine! Just try to starve me. I see how it is. I see who my real friends are. I don't have any, do I?"

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James walked down the corridor on the way to breakfast. He was in a bad mood. Sirius had taken a trip to the kitchens without him! He loved the kitchens! They were filled with food! "Blah! Why Sirius!"

"Um, I don't suppose that by some miracle you're gay, and have given up on me have you Potter?" Lily came around the corner with a highly amused expression on her face.

"Why in the world would I have given up on you? Even if I was gay, I would still love you."

"That defeats the point of being gay. I was just wondering, because I figured you'd heard about Sirius and Rose, and that was what you were screaming about."

"What about Sirius?"

"Well, that he slept with Rose of course." Lily said, looking somewhat shocked that James didn't know. Rose hadn't shut up once since she left her date with Sirius. All the girls knew. Except Bria, who'd been asleep when Rose came in last night.

"What? When? Why was I not informed? This is horrible! Does Bria know? We should keep her from finding out at all costs! She will murder someone. Likely two some ones!"

"James! James! Calm down! Everyone is staring at you! Calm down, or else I will never even consider going out with you."

James calmed immediately. "Okay."

"Okay. He slept with her last night, and I don't know why."

"Ugh! This is horrible!"

"Uh, yeah. It is. Now, do you know why he might have done this?"

James looked perplexed. "Wait. Last night? That's not possible! He was in the kitchens last night!"

"All last night?"

"More or less. He ditched Rose around five, and went straight to the kitchens after that. And he didn't get back until about two in the morning."

"So Rose WAS lying! I thought as much. Good. Now we just have to go and stop the rumor."

They started to walk down the corridor together. James looked over at her, a thoughtful expression on his face.

"Lily?" James asked, trying not to enrage her.

"What?"

"Since I calmed down so much, do you think you'll go out with me?" James cringed, waiting for the response.

"Um, we'll see, okay?"

"Yes! Definitely okay!" James started to skip down the corridor and Lily followed behind, laughing.

James was smiling uncontrollably _I can't believe it! Lily said we'd see! This is a dream come true!_

_I can't believe it! I just said maybe! Why did I do that? That was so unlike me! Why? Maybe I do SORT of like him. But not much! _Lily began to scowl slightly. "I disagree with you, head. I do not! At all!"

"Lily, why are you talking to your brain?"

Lily blushed. "I wasn't. I was talking to… Filch! Yes! I was talking to Filch!"

James looked at her worriedly. "Lils, Filch is nowhere near here. Really. You should go and see Madame Pomfrey. You seem to be hallucinating."

"Yes! That's it! I'm hallucinating. Absolutely."

"Okay. Now I really am worried about you. Are you sure you're okay?"

"No! That's just it! I am ill! I must go to the hospital wing!"

"Maybe you should see a professor. I mean. It may be—"

"I am going to the bloody hospital wing, and that is final!" Lily said. Well, practically spat, really.

"All right! Fine. Calm yourself. I meant no offense." James continued walking, and Lily ran in the opposite direction.

_Why am I so worried? Of course I don't like James. Why would I? He's nothing but an insolent git. He is merely infatuated with me because he can't have me. Yes! That's it! He only wants me because he can't have me._

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Peter sat at the table wondering where everyone else was. _It's breakfast! They never miss breakfast! I wonder where they are? _

Just then, Remus plopping down beside him interrupted Peter's thoughts.

"Moony! Mate, where've you been? Where are Padfoot and Prongs?"

"Oh, hullo there Wormy. I don't know where James is, but Sirius is off looking for Bria to tell her that he didn't really sleep with Rose."

"Why?"

"Because, Bria is really upset, and Sirius needs to be the one to explain all of this to her."

"But why is Bria upset?" Peter was genuinely confused. He knew that Sirius and Bria were friends, but the last time he had checked Bria didn't really care what Sirius did with his time.

"Fff… Bria's upset because…" Remus trailed off. It was one thing, he thought, for Emma to have told him that Bria must love Sirius. It was another, however, to go on and tell everyone else.

"She's upset because she doesn't want Sirius to get American Germs."

"Oh."

"I was kidding."

"Oh."

_What isn't Remus telling me? And why doesn't he want me to know whatever it is? _

"So, why is she really upset?"

Remus hesitated. "Uh…Oh! Look! There's James!"

Peter scowled.

James wandered over to them and sat down.

"James! Where have you been?" Remus asked, his voice rather high pitched.

"Um, are you all right Moony?" James asked worriedly. "Maybe you should go to the Hospital Wing too."

"No, no! I'm fine. Bacon?" Remus assured him, in a slightly less high pitched voice.

"All right. If you say so. Anyway, I was with Lily." James took some bacon. "She has lost her mind. She was talking to herself, and then claiming she was talking to Filch, and then she ran for the Hospital Wing. But she did say that she'd think about going out with me."

"Oh. That's lovely! More bacon?"

"Um, Moony? Since when have you been such the little hostess?"

"Um, I am not a hostess! Peter! Offer your friend some bacon."

"Why? I don't feel like it, _MUM_!" Peter whined.

"Peter, if I am your mum then you must respect my wishes, and I wish you would offer some bacon to James."

"Aw! Do I have to?"

"Yes. Absolutely. Now, what do you say?"

"Would you like some bacon James?"

"Yes thanks Pete." James took more bacon. "Though I hope you realize that Moony is not really your mum."

"Aw! I lost again!"

"Remus is a mother?" Emma asked confusedly, sitting down next to him. "He doesn't much look like one."

"No. That is because I'm not one."

"Neither is he a hostess, apparently." James added.

Emma studied Remus for a moment before nodding. "I think that you are all gender confused."

Remus flushed. "I assure you, I have nothing to do with this; it was all James."

"So you don't think you're female?"

"No."

"Good. Because you look like you're male to me."

Remus colored. "Er, right. That's good to know. That I don't look like a girl that is." Remus was dark red by the end of his sentence.

"Right…Well! Did you all hear that Sirius slept with Rose? I am sure that Bria is practically homicidal at this point." Emma said, looking sideways at Remus.

"Well. Not quite how I would put it, but you know, whatever." Remus said, thinking of his earlier interaction with the girl.

"Well, Sirius didn't REALLY sleep with her you know." James said, smug to know something no one else seemed to.

"Right. Obviously. Why would he? Feeling as he does about Bria." Remus said, nonchalantly eating his bacon.

"Wait. How does he feel about Bria?" Peter asked feeling very confused. As usual.

"Um, he doesn't. Of course he doesn't. Why would he feel for Bria Remus?" Emma asked, glaring.

"Um, because, it is sort of common knowledge how SIRIUS feels."

"Why do I feel like they're speaking in code?" Peter asked James.

"Because, they sort of are."

"Remus, what have you told them?"

"Nothing about your charge."

"They have charges?" Peter asked.

"I dunno what they're on about."

"So, they know nothing about that that I shouldn't know about, because she hasn't told me?"

"Right."

"Okay. So long as no one knows what we're talking about."

"We don't!" James and Peter said in unison.

"Oh. I'd forgotten about them." Emma said looking at the two Marauders. "But it appears you're doing a good job at not telling what you shouldn't know in the first place, so well done."

"Right."

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"Why? Why am I missing breakfast to go and tell the girl I am pretty sure I love that I did not sleep with the girl we both hate, because she has told a bunch of girls that she did sleep with me, to claim her territory?" Sirius asked himself as he wandered around the school in search of the girl he was pretty sure he love, being Bria. "Did I just say all that out loud then?" He asked himself as he noticed that a load of girls were gawking at him.

"Yes. You did." A girl who looked about 15 said helpfully.

"Right. Thanks for that bit of helpfulness."

Sirius continued his search for Bria, but to no avail. _Where in the world could that tiny girl be? She is not big enough to be easily spotted which means I a going to have to focus nearly a foot below me._

He rounded a corner, and thought he saw something tall, dark, and greasy. "Is that Snape?" He asked himself as he doubled back for another look. "Yes! And is that Bria with him? It is! Gross! My Cheese is being contaminated!"

Bria looked up, thinking that she had heard Sirius, but as she didn't see him, she decided to go on with her plan. "Right. Severus, I am sorry for the way I acted before, when you asked me out I mean."

Snape smiled. Bria seemed awfully flustered. Maybe she had finally discovered that he was better than the Gryffindor wankers she normally hung out with.

"That's all right. I forgive you." He said graciously.

"Right. Thanks. I was hoping, maybe you'd be willing to give me a second chance? Maybe you'd like to go…swimming next week. Or something like that Since it will be ages before the next Hogsmeade weekend..."

"Of course!"

Bria leaned in to kiss him…

"Why?" Sirius whispered. Right as he fainted.

**A/N. Ha ha. I am aware we are evil, so there is really no reason to tell me this. But worry not, we will update in two weeks, and put your minds at ease. But only if you review. It is really not that hard, and only takes a minute. And it would be greatly appreciated. Please? Now? Why are you still reading this? I wanted you to review! Okay. Stop! Stop reading, and review! None of this is all that interesting! Cut it out! Come on! Okay. I am done typing this. So now you can review! Okay. Press the little purple button. Okay. It's the one that says "Review", just so you know.**


	13. Of Fights Continued and Hostesses

Chapter Thirteen 

**Of Fights Continued and Hostesses**

**Disclaimer: We don't own anyone. And you know it. Why are you rubbing it in? You are mean. Pouts**

**We would like to dedicate this chapter to all of our loyal reviewers. Because you guys really ARE the best people ever. We lurvify you!**

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_Last Chapter: Bria leaned in to kiss him… "Why?" Sirius asked himself. Right as he fainted._

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"Siiirius…"

_What? What happened? Why am I on the floor? Oh. Right. Bria. Kissed the slimy one._

"Sirius!" He felt a sound slap on his cheek.

He opened his eyes. "Bria?" He asked groggily.

"Yes. Why are you on the floor?" She asked, looking down at him in amusement. "Oh! Wait! I still hate you!"

"Oh! You do? Why?"

"Oh, I don't know? Maybe because you SLEPT WITH MY ARCH ENEMY!"

"What?"

"Yeah! You remember Rose I trust?"

"Yeah. She is a little git!"

"Right, well, why did you sleep with her then?" Bria asked, standing back up. "I will never speak to you again."

And with that, she stalked off.

Sirius lay on the floor a while longer, wondering what he had done that had everyone so convinced that he had slept with that little blond wanker. And also, wondering if Bria and Snape were ACTUALLY going to go out.

"Why me?"

O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O 

"LILY! EMMA! Where are you?" Bria came screaming into the common room, in search of her best friends.

"Brie, chill! We're right here." Lily said from next to the fire.

"SIRIUS WAS SPYING ON ME!"

"When?" Emma asked, quite reasonably.

"When I asked the slimy out. Well, I think that was when. It might have been when I was about to kiss him."

"You were about to kiss Sirius? But I thought you were mad at him?" Emma asked, perplexed.

"No! Snape!"

"Ew! Gross! Why?" Lily shuddered.

"To get back at Sirius for sleeping with Rose."

"Oh. Why does it matter?" Emma asked, trying not to shudder.

"Because! I hate Rose!" Bria looked horrified.

"Are you sure that's why you care?" Emma asked, trying not to give away that she knew.

"Yes. That is why."

"Okay. Change of subject, I have lost my mind." Lily said, catching on that something was amiss. "I told James that I would think about going out with him."

"Aw! Am I the only one who doesn't get a boy friend?" Emma asked, mock pouting.

"Well," Bria said with a sly smile. "There's always Remus!"

Emma blushed. "Yeah. But not. He doesn't know I'm alive. As anything but a friend."

"So you admit you like him?" Bria asked, sitting with her feet sprawled over Emma's legs.

"No, I never said that. All I said was that if I _did_ like him, he doesn't like me, so nothing could ever come of it."

"Sure."

A lull in the conversation ensued. All the girls pondered their respective boys.

"I just can't—"

"And then I said—"

"I mean, it's just—"

All three girls stopped talking again. "Heh. You go first Emma." Bria said, with a laugh.

"No, no. You can go first. Really. I'll wait." Emma said, with a gesture toward Bria.

"No, no. You can g—"

"Oh for Merlin's sake! I'll go!" Lily burst out finally.

"No. It's all right. Emma should start."

"No. Bria, really. You should start."

"Ugh! Seriously! I'll just start!" Lily was beginning to get seriously fed up.

"No. Emma."

"Bria!"

"All right! Fine! I shall start my tale of woe!"

"Wow Bria. Where'd you learn a word like 'woe'?" Emma asked, thinking of her own source of information, being Remus.

"Um, from Remus actually."

"Aha! I thought as much!" Emma leaped triumphantly from her seat.

"Aha! And _I _thought as much! You were thinking of Remus!"

"I hate you. You tricked me into starting my own story first! How devious of you!" Emma sat back down, somewhat deflated.

"All right. So you surely feel like starting now!" Bria threw her legs across her friend again.

"All right. Well, it's not really a problem…"

"_Emma_." Bria warned.

"Fine. So. Oh, for Merlin's sake, I can't date Remus! He thinks he's a hostess!"

"Uh…" Bria blinked several times. "That's, uh…kinky."

"No! Not like that! I mean, he kept offering everyone bacon. AND! He was dubbed a mum!"

"Are you sure that this wasn't due to one of his mates?" Lily looked like she was about to totally lose it and crack up.

"Oh. Maybe. He did deny the whole thing. So, maybe he is not as hopeless as, say, Sirius."

Bria blushed. "Sirius is hopeless. I agree."

"Or James." Emma continued, unfazed by her friend's reaction.

"Yes! James is absolutely hopeless. Which is why I think it's so odd that I said I might go out with him!"

"Right. So we all have completely hopeless love lives." Emma sighed.

"So, you DO admit it!" Bria was feeling quite triumphant. She was winning on all accounts. If only she was still friends with Sirius. She had had a couple of pointless bets with him. One being that Lily would come around and like James before Halloween, and the other that Emma and Remus would finally fancy one another this year. Or at least realize that they fancied one another. And she had now won them both.

"No! I never said that! I DON"T like him. I am just relieved that one of my friends at least is somewhat sane. Even if it does seem that he thinks himself to be a hostess. Perhaps he was just raised in a strict household or something! I don't know!"

"Riiiiiight. That is so not what's going through your head. Now can I tell you my problem?" Lily asked, feeling rather impatient. They were just both so stubborn. Neither could admit they liked one of the Marauders. When SHE liked someone, she admitted it.

"Right. Of course you may Lils. We would never try and stop you. I am sure that your problems should take precedence. What are they though?" Emma was talking very fast, and trying to hide the fact that she was blushing slightly. She wasn't even sure why she was blushing. But she was sure that Bria would make it about her fancying Remus. And that just wasn't true.

"Okay," Lily began, settling down in her chair. This was going to be a long one. "So my problem is the most pressing because, if you've forgotten already, I've _lost my mind_!"

"That certainly is troubling."

"Shut up, Brie, I'm talking here. So, here's the problem. I told James I'd think about going out with him, and of course I won't, so now I have to tell him this without hurting him. Which will be nearly impossible, as that boy is always sad about something."

"Well, you've never seemed to care before about hurting him. I mean, that's why he's always so sad. Because you refuse to go out with him." Bria put in when Lily stopped for breath.

"Well, I never said I'd think about it before. So this time it would be worse."

"I think you miss Bria's point. Her point is you have never cared before about hurting James's feelings. You do it all the time in fact."

"Well, yes. But I do care now! And that is because I am just a compassionate person. NOT because I care about Potter in the least."

"Sure. I am so sure that's why you don't want to hurt the poor bloke. I personally think that you're coming around. I think you should go to the Halloween carnival with him." Bria said, winking at Emma.

"What Halloween carnival?" Lily asked.

"The one I think you should plan now. Go! Go and plan now! NOW! Why are you still here? I said PLAN!"

"Bria! Chill! I think Lily should go and plan it too, but why are you so worried about it?"

"I have to take Snape! Yes! It is brilliant! Lily! Go! Now! Plan! Why aren't you planning?" Bria was acting slightly hysterical, and beginning to scare her mates. She never acted like this. She must be really mad about Sirius.

"I am not planning a carnival just so you can take Snape. That would just be silly. However. Maybe I COULD go with James, to make up for being such an arse. Yes! It will be to make up for being horrible for 6 years! It's perfect! Thanks for the idea Bria! I must go and find him."

With that Lily ran off in search of James.

"Let me guess. You think I should take Remus."

"Yes! Oh! It's perfect. We'll all take our respective blokes! You take Remus, Lily takes James, and I take Severus."

"Yes, but wouldn't your man be Sirius? I mean, otherwise we don't all get Marauders. So you really SHOULD take Sirius. I'll tell you what. You take Sirius, and I'll take Remus. Or at least try to. I make no promises."

"Well, I would, but I hate him. So I must take someone I don't hate. Being Severus."

"Bria, last week you called him Snivellus. Surely you aren't trying to convince me that now you are head over heels in love with him."

"Of course not! I am just saying maybe I COULD be, and don't I deserve a chance at love? I mean, you and Lily both do. The only people I know who don't deserve a chance even are Sirius, and Rose."

"Bria, before this year you would never have lumped Sirius and Rose together in any way, shape or form."

"All right, but this was the year that Sirius betrayed me fully. Not any of the other years I've known him. And for that I can never forgive him. It's time for me to move on. I don't need the Marauders to hang out with. I have you and Lils, and I have Severus. He can make me forget about Sirius."

"Right. And that is what I am afraid of. Bria, Sirius is one of your BEST FRIENDS! You don't WANT to forget him! You just want to have him apologize for "Sleeping with" Rose."

"What's with the quotation marks?"

"Are you even sure that they did sleep together?"

"Yes. I am."

"Fine. Then there is nothing I can do. I hope you're happy with your decision." And with that Emma got up and walked away.

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Lily wandered down the corridor, wondering where James was. She hadn't seen him since this morning. "Where in the world has he gone?"

"Why hello Lily! Fancy meeting you here."

"James! I was just looking for you! Where have you been?"

"I've been in the kitchens. Why were you searching for me?"

"Well, Bria had an idea for something we could do for a Halloween. She suggested a carnival! Isn't that a great idea? I was thinking we could plan it, and then go together! Don't you think that's a great idea?"

James looked like he was about to faint. Lily wanted to go to a carnival with HIM? Could it be? It was like a dream come true! "Yes! I love it! Let's go and talk to Dumbledore right now! And then we can get right down to planning! Yes! It's brilliant."

Lily smiled. "Good." They headed toward the Headmaster's office.

"So, er."

"Yes, James?"

James really hoped he wasn't going to jinx anything, but he had to know. "Er, why would you want to go with me?"

Lily stared ahead. "Um."

"I see." Said James, who really didn't.

"I… I realize I've been a bit of an arse for the last… Well, for the last six years. And I'm sorry."

James nearly died. Right there, in the corridor. "You — wow. That's…"

"Strange?"

"I was thinking more along the lines of 'absolutely bloody terrific', but you know, whatever."

"Right, well, you'd like to go with me then?"

"Yes! Abso-bloody-lutely!"

"All right then. It's a date! So to speak. Well, actually, I suppose it is a date. How odd. I have a date with James Potter. There's something I never thought I'd be saying."

"Well, I've always hoped you would." James said with a smile. He looked so cute that Lily couldn't help but smile back.

"Right. Well, it's not as bad as I thought it would be."

They arrived at the gargoyle, and suddenly remembered that they would need a password.

"I don't suppose you know the password, do you?" Lily asked, hopefully.

"Um, not, but we could always guess."

"All right. Um, Fizzing wizzbes?" The gargoyle did move.

"Droobles best blowing gum?"

"Cauldron cakes?" The gargoyle moved aside, and admitted the two teens. "Yay! I guessed it." Lily did a little happy dance.

"You know, you're cute when you do happy dances."

"Why thank you, Potter."

The two walked up to the top or the staircase where Dumbledore's office was, and knocked softly.

"Yes, Lily, James?"

"Um, we have an idea for a fun Halloween festivity."

"All right. You can come in."

The two walked in, and just stood there awkwardly. "You may sit down."

They both sat and James said hesitantly, "Um, we were thinking of a carnival. We could hold it before the feast. And we could do stuff at it. Um, Lily, why don't you tell him about the carnival?"

Lily rolled her eyes. It was actually Bria's idea. She was thinking we could hold a carnival, and we could do all sorts of things. We could have a couple of rides, and games, and maybe some performers. And it could be either an all day thing, or it could start around noon, and it would go until the feast. We could sell tickets, and donate the money to St. Mungo's too. They always need money."

"Well, I think that sounds like a fine idea. If you two tell me what you'll need, I'll go ahead and get the supplies. You should round up some volunteers to put it on. Both student and teacher alike should help out. Since it was Miss Travystar's idea, she should certainly help. Please get volunteers from all the houses as well. Not only Gryffindor."

"All right. We'll go ahead and get started with that then. Thank you, Professor."

So the two left. "We should get together every night to plan. And maybe we could put up flyers requesting help. I can work on those, and you can look into what supplies we'll need, and we can meet tonight in the room of requirement." Lily looked at James for confirmation of her plan.

"Right. That sounds fine. See you tonight then. Bye."

"Right. Bye James."

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**Yay! We have updated, and I DO realize that it is a day late. Sorry. I was sick yesterday, and not really thinking that clearly. I just forgot, in other words. So, I REALLY hope you enjoyed this chapter. Now. Please press that little purple reviewing button. Because I LOVE reviewers. Thanks! And we will update as soon as possible, though I am not quite sure HOW soon we'll be able to get together. But we will be trying to get together as soon as possible.**


	14. The Abyss

Chapter Fourteen

The Abyss

**Oh my God, we are SO sorry for not updating for over half a year. Well, almost a year, really. Anyway, we are back now. Dedications: Anyone who has stuck with us through our sporadic updates deserves a shout-out. Thank you so much for staying with us, and this chapter is for you.**

**Disclaimer: We do not own Sirius, Lily, James, Remus, Peter, Professors, Severus, Alice, Frank, Hogwarts, Hogsmeade ect… We do, however, own Bria, Emma, Samantha, Rose, ect… **

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Bria sat at the edge of the lake thinking about how grateful she was the Sirius had been spying on her._ If he hadn't fainted, I might have actually kissed Snape. That would have been incredibly disgusting…I don't even know why I do these things. I don't actually want to kiss Snivellus. I do kind of want to…kiss Siri. When did this happen?_

"Oh, my God."

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Lily was walking down the hallway when she felt something hit her hard from behind.

"Brie? Why did you just attack me from behind?"

"Lily, I have just come to a shocking revelation." Bria said, straightening herself back up after attacking Lily from behind.

"Revelation a word Remus taught you?"

"Yes. Anyway, my revelation!"

"Right! What was your revelation?"

"I think I like Sirius. As more than just a friend."

"Well, yes. But I could have told you that." Lily said, almost laughing at her friend's revelation.

**"**Why didn't you then? Why didn't anyone tell me that I am partially in love with my best friend?"

"Well, that is not something you would have believed, Brie. You needed to realize it yourself." Lily said, shaking her head slightly at her so-called intelligent friend's stupidity where Sirius was concerned. "What are you going to do about Sirius? Are you going to tell him how you feel?"

Bria laughed. "Are you kidding me? He must hate me by now. I am following through and going out with Snivellus. That will teach him."

"It is strangely reassuring to hear you call Snape Snivellus again. It was eerie hearing you call him by his first name all the time. But I don't think Sirius hates you. I _really_ don't think he hates you at all. In fact, I think quite the opposite."

"I, what?" Bria looked at her friend incredulously. "What do you mean 'I think quite the opposite'?"

"I mean, I think that Sirius does not hate you."

"Oh. Is that all then?" Bria asked disappointedly.

"Well, I don't know. You should ask him how he feels about you, not me. How am I to know?"

"Well, I don't know. You were just acting as though you might know something more than I do."

Lily shifted awkwardly and switched her book bag to her other shoulder.

Bria's eyes narrowed. "You know something, don't you? And you're not telling me. What is it, Lily? Out with it."

Affronted, Lily shook her hair out of her face in a manner that all but proved to Bria that she was, in fact, hiding something. "Well, no. Of course I don't. I would tell you if I did. I don't have any sort of connection to Sirius, how would I know something?"

Before Bria could respond, Emma walked into the corridor, and froze upon seeing the scene unfolding between her two friends. Emma glanced at Lily, who glanced back at Emma. Bria caught this glance, and glanced back and forth between the two.

"Emma knows something, too! This is a conspiracy! Quickly, one of you! Out with it!"

Emma stood there agape for a moment.

"What did I do? I just walked in!" She finally managed. "I don't know anything! What were you two even arguing about?"

Bria opened her mouth to explain but Lily got there first. "Bria thinks we know something about how Sirius feels about her. Tell her, Emma; tell her she's being paranoid."

"Um, yes. You are being utterly paranoid, Bria. We know nothing."

"Emma, you know that you're a crass liar. Now, be honest." Bria said, crossing her arms over her chest.

Lily quickly spoke up, before Emma could say anything. "No, really, Bria. We know nothing. Last we heard, you hated Sirius, because you think he slept with Rose. Which is unforgivable. Now, if you'll excuse us, we must go to…uh…pee."

And with that the two girls rushed off, before Bria could get any information out of them.

Bria stood there, just looking after them for several minutes. "And they truly expect me to believe that they know nothing?"

O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O 

James was wandering the corridors, trying to think of brilliant ideas that would wow Lily for the carnival, when out of a random abyss came Remus.

"Hello, James. Top of the morning to you."

"Um Remus. What is the abyss you magically appeared from?"

Remus looked at him a bit strangely. "I thought that _you_ came out of the abyss. I certainly didn't"

"All right. Now you're just trying to confuse me. I was just walking along, trying to think of new ways to impress Lily, when suddenly, there you were."

"Well, I was just wandering to the kitchens, when there _you_ were. And as we are right outside the kitchens, I think you were the one to randomly appear."

"All right. Fair enough." James said. "But were you thinking of anything specifically that might have caused you to walk into an abyss?"

Remus blushed. "Um, er, no…Of course not… What would I have been thinking of?"

"I don't know. A girl, perhaps?"

"Would you believe me if I said I was thinking about a book?"

"No, Remus. I would not."

"Well, I _didn't_ walk into an abyss, I thought we'd already established this." Remus said, trying in vain to distract James long enough to change the subject.

"Remus, you are evading the question. What, or perhaps I should say who, were you thinking of?"

"Um, I was just thinking of… Sirius's dilemma. Yes, that's it! I was thinking of Bria as my girl. As she is driving Sirius mad. In more than one way…"

"Um, we really don't need to talk about what Bria is doing to Sirius's lower half. We are supposed to be talking about you."

"Why, James, stop being such a prude. It's all biological, after all. PERFECTLY NATURAL."

"Yes, but it also happens to be PERFECTLY SIRIUS! And stop trying to draw the conversation away from you."

"I will not, as this conversation all started because of the abyss. Where did that abyss go?"

"Come off it Remus. Not even all the well placed books can disguise what Emma does to you."

"I thought we weren't talking about the lower halves of bodies, James. Stop being a hypocrite."

"I'm not. I had no wish to talk about Sirius's lower body. But I will do anything to make you admit your feelings for Emma."

"You're perverse."

"This may be so, but it does not change the fact that you have yet to admit that you want Emma just as I want Lily, and Sirius wants Bria, and I am not letting you end this conversation until you do."

"Fine! Perhaps I do like Emma, but it is none of your business either way."

The two boys stood there for a while, awkwardly shifting from foot to foot, until finally, Remus broke the silence.

"James."

"Yes?"

"You realize that your head duties started five minutes ago?"

James glanced at his watch. "SHIT!"

James quickly dashed off, down the corridors, praying that Lily wouldn't be mad at him for the rest of the night.

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**Bwa ha ha. We have at last delivered to you a new chapter! Rejoice! And then review. Because reviews are terribly important. And we shall love you forever if you do. Okay. If you have any brilliant suggestion, feel free to give them. We shall consider them, and then, after must deliberation decide what to put in. All right. Many thanks to our loyal readers.**


	15. Clones and Carnivals

Chapter Fifteen

Clones and Carnivals

**Author's Notes:** Last chapter was terribly short and we apologize. It would have been longer but Hannah got sidetracked and started talking about clones because she was more sleep-deprived than usual and then it all went to pot.

**Disclaimer:** As always, we do not own anyone/thing from the Harry Potter verse.

**Dedications:** This chapter is dedicated to clones.

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"So, Remus, what do you think about clones?"

Remus opened his eyes and turned his head to look at Sirius. The top on Sirius' head was visible beyond one of Remus' pillows. It looked curious. Although tops-of-heads cannot look curious (not on their own at least) so perhaps that was the sleep-deprivation talking.

"Sirius, it's in the middle of the night. I don't care about clones. Go on your own bed, and let me sleep. Please."

Out of nowhere, Sirius' arm flopped dangerously close to Remus' face. "I'd rather not, actually."

"Well, I'd rather you did. Because, I don't know if you know this, but this is _my_ bed, Sirius. Mine. You have your own perfectly good one across the room and I'm sure _it_ would appreciate your talk of clones much more than I."

"No, I mean, think about it. How would you _know_ if one of your friends had been cloned?"

Remus groaned. "Sirius, stop talking about clones. Three o' clock in the morning is not the time. Anytime that you are around _me_ is not the time."

Sirius sat up, his hair sticking straight out to the side. "No, no, really, hear me out on this. If I was cloned, how would you ever know it was me?"

"Well, I can only assume that your clone would not wake me up at three in the morning to talk about _clones_. That might be a good tip off."

Sirius grabbed Remus by the arm in a vice like grip. "Remus, we must have a code word."

"Go away."

"'Go away'. All right. That will be our code. Excellent. Now that we've settled that, we need to talk about peacocks. Why does Hogwarts not have peacocks? They could patrol the grounds. And then we could get some peahens, and they could mate and have little baby peacocks. What do you think those look like? Do they have colourful feathers?"

Remus groaned, rolled over and put his pillow over his head. This was going to be a very long night.

O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O 

After a long night of listening to Sirius talk about clones, and peacocks, and other such oddities, Remus was positively exhausted. He was sitting at the Gryffindor table, when Sirius bounced over to him.

"Hullo, Moony. I was thinking, we should talk to Dumbledore about those peacocks. I bet he would invest in some, since it's for the good of the school."

"Sirius, you kept me up all night to talk about peacocks, and peahens, and peaBABIES, but you are not about to ruin my breakfast. I need you to go and bug someone else. Why don't you take this opportunity to profess your love for Bria?"

"Well, she is not at breakfast. Besides, I can't very well go up to a girl who hates me, and profess my undying love for her. I think I should try to make her jealous, so that she realizes that she must like me."

Remus rolled his eyes. "Because Bria thinking you were sleeping around has worked so terribly well so far."

"No, really, it will work now. _I_ will plan it this time, instead of letting Rose start a rumor."

Remus turned so he could look at his friend better. "Sirius, if I was a girl…"

Just then, James sat down right between them. "What's this? You were a girl, Remus?"

Remus gave up and returned to his eggs.

"Because you should probably, you know, discuss this with the whole group. Rather a life-changing decision, isn't it?"

"James," Remus said weakly around his eggs, "bugger off."

"Well, aren't we a bit touchy about decision we make? Do we, perhaps, regret our decision?"

"James, there never was a decision. I was never a girl, nor will I ever be a girl I am definitely a guy, and this is how it shall stay."

Peter, who had just arrived at the table, was very confused about why Remus needed to remind them of his gender. "Um, that's good, Remus."

"Ugh! Now see what's happening? I am beginning to sound like a git! And all because you wouldn't stop talking about my nonexistent sex-change."

"So you've decided not to get that done, then?" Emma asked, sitting down on Remus' other side.

All of the Marauders started laughing, save for Remus, who was very tempted to just start banging his head against the table. "Emma, why do you have to encourage them?"

"Oh, they're just so much fun to encourage. Besides, I am sure you'd make a lovely girl."

"Coming from you, I am not sure whether or not that is a compliment." Remus said, shaking his head, and excusing himself from the table. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I must go seek out some saner company."

"Moony!" Sirius cried, still laughing, as Remus left the hall. "Don't leave!"

"No, Sirius," Remus called back, "It's mornings like these I wish I went to a day school."

"I'll eat the rest of your eggs!" James yelled but Remus was gone. "Damn. I was really having a marvelous time teasing him about his strange desire to change genders."

Just then, Lily came over and flung herself into the midst of laughing persons. "I have no idea what has caused this much laughter, and I have no desire to know. James, we have two weeks until the carnival. We need to gather volunteers for decorations, and we need to plan activities, and we need to figure out magical rides, and we should have a petting zoo! With nifflers! We need to get planning!"

James looked at the incredibly frazzled girl sitting before him. "All right, then. Let's get planning. But no nifflers. There will be a lot of shiny things at a carnival."

Lily considered this for a moment before nodding. "You're right. No nifflers. But there is still so much to plan!"

"There's going to be a carnival? What fun! I must get ready!" Sirius exclaimed, with much joy in his voice.

"All right, Lily, we will start planning. Just, calm down. Eat some breakfast, and then we can begin planning."

"No! No time to eat! Halloween is two weeks away! Whatever shall we do?"

"Lily! Breathe! That's right. Halloween is two weeks away. That is plenty of time for eating AND planning." James said, taking a hold of Lily's upper arm, before she fainted from lack of air.

Lily took a deep breath. "Yes, of course, you're right. Perhaps I can even find some time to sleep before Halloween, too."

Lily got some breakfast, and once she had finished, she just glared at James until he put away his bacon, and got up, and followed her out of the Great Hall. They walked out of the castle, and toward the lake, where they began a leisurely stroll, and started to plan the basic outline for the carnival.

"Okay," James began. "What do we need to plan?"

"Well," Lily said, conjuring up a piece of parchment, and a quill. "Firstly, there's the location. Where do we have enough space for an entire carnival?"

"Um, well, there's the forest." James suggested.

"Um, James, why? Why would you even suggest that?"

"I don't know. It seemed rather sensible before I suggested it."

"Well, no. We are not holding a carnival in THE FORBIDDEN FOREST! How about the Quidditch field?"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Not the Quidditch field! How could you even suggest such a thing?"

"All right," Lily said, scratching that Quidditch field off of her list of ideas. "Quidditch field is out."

"All right. How about the empty field behind the greenhouses?" James asked, trying to think of anywhere that they would hold their carnival that wasn't his precious Quidditch field.

"Yes. I think that that should work quite nicely." Lily said, writing it down a fresh piece of parchment, which was entitled, 'Concreted Plans For The Carnival'. "Now, what sort rides should we have?"

James looked at her blankly. "Rides? What are those?"

"James? Rides. You can't have a carnival without rides!"

"What? Yes you can! I've been to carnivals without rides."

"Well, you've never been to a carnival at all, have you."

"Well, no. But that is hardly important." James said, blushing slightly.

"Actually it is. You don't have any proper experience. And I do and I say we must have rides."

"All right, but what ARE rides?"

"They are…fun. You…ride them. Some of them go around in circles, some of them go up and down. Some of them have loop-the-loops. We must have them if our carnival is to be a success. Is that understood?"

"Er, yes. Well, not really. But that is only because I am still confused as to what a ride is. But we can have them, if they truly mean that much to you. I suppose. As long as they aren't going to hex me."

"James, rides are a muggle invention. They _can't_ hex you." Lily said, trying desperately not to laugh at James.

"Oh, all right then. We can have rides." James said, feeling slightly embarrassed at not knowing that rides couldn't hex him. "But you'll have to decide what rides to have, since I don't know what they are."

"All right. I can have one of the girls help me with that later. But we do need to plan other activities, and animals for the petting zoo." Lily said, consulting the list she had made earlier. "And then we need to recruit volunteers to help with decorations, and to help with the set up of rides, and the petting zoo, and we to buy prizes for the games and activities, and we should plan some sort of all-school contest. What sort of contest though? And then, what sort of prizes should we have? I would suggest a costume contest, but that is not only cliché, but also it is also subjective, and we really shouldn't have a subjective contest, unless we could find a completely impartial judge. But no one in this school is completely impartial to everyone because even the professors have favourites and –"

"Uh… Lily?" James was beginning to worry she might someday explode. Or something similar at least. Maybe just burn out all of a sudden in the middle of one of her rants. Either way it would be tragic.

"Yes, James?" Lily asked, taking a break from her rant long enough to look at him.

"I think you're forgetting to breathe again. We can figure all of this out in two weeks. Right now, let's figure out what sort of decorations we need, and then we can get a work crew and put one of them in charge of that, so that will be one less thing to worry about." James said, proud that, for once, he got to be the rational one of a group. Even if that group was only two people. It was still a lovely feeling.

"Yes. Yes, of course you're right. That's what we should be doing. Breaking everything into groups and recruiting volunteers. Bria will be willing to be in charge of decorations. Anything to get her mind off of Sirius."

"Wait, is Bria still mad at Sirius?" James asked, completely forgetting that he was trying to be rational, and stay on task, all at the same time.

"Oh, well, yes. But she also just realized that she doesn't think of him as a friend anymore. She is terribly upset about this. Especially since she still thinks he slept with Rose. He didn't, did he?" Lily said, for the first time thinking to confront one of Sirius's friends on the matter.

"Well, no. Of course he didn't. He is mad about Bria. He just doesn't have the balls to let her know that. And we tell him to just suck it up and get it over with. Like ripping off a plaster – not," he added hastily, " that it's anything horrible like that. Heh."

"Well, no, I completely agree with you."

"You do?"

"Of course! I've been telling Bria the same thing. Well, perhaps without the plaster-ripping metaphor."

"Well, yes. Of course. That was a dreadful metaphor."

"Yes. We keep telling Bria she should just confront Sirius about Rose, and get that over with. And also that she should just tell him how she feels about him. They should just both get it over with, and then they wouldn't have to come and whine to us all the time." Lily said.

"Right." James said, realizing how off topic they had both become. "But now we should get back to planning the carnival."

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**Right. Well, we hope that that chapter was less of a disappointment to our loyal fans. But read and review to let us know what you think. Constructive criticism is always welcome.**


	16. And the Plot Thickens

Chapter Sixteen

And the Plot Thickens

**Author's Note: All right. Thank you to all of those who reviewed. Much love to you all!**

**Disclaimer: As always, none of these characters are ours. Well, some of them. But not most.**

**Dedications: To all of those who have given us constructive criticism. Thank you, ever so kindly.**

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Bria was walking dejectedly down the corridors. She was very upset to realize her true feeling for Sirius. They weren't fair. _Now I am going to be forced to date people I don't actually like. That is not fair! Why do I have to hate someone who won't like me?_

She was so absorbed in her own thoughts that she didn't even see the person she was about to crash into until she walked over them. "Oof."

Bria looked down at her feet. "Sirius? What are you doing on the ground?" Bria asked with less than her usual vehement anger toward him for being where she was walking.

"Well, I wasn't until you knocked me down." Sirius said, getting back to his feet and dusting his uniform off.

Bria blinked at him for a moment, thinking how handsome he looked in his terribly dusty uniform before responding to his comment. "You actually expect me to believe that I, a small girl of hardly 5'4", could not over such a tall, brawny, boy of 6'2"? I mean, A tall, terribly annoying manwhorish boy of 6'2"."

Sirius looked at her strangely. "Right, Cheese, are you sure that you're feeling all right? You are acting a bit strangely. Not to mention, you've never been walking with enough force to knock someone as large as I" Sirius puffed himself up a bit. "(And I assure you, I am quite large) am before."

Bria stared at him in disgust. "Wow. Thanks for the over share, Black. And who said you were still allowed to call me Cheese? You betrayed me. We are no longer even on a first name basis."

"But, Bria—" He was cut off by Bria placing her hand over his mouth.

"No first names, Black." She said, pulling her hand away from his mouth.

Sirius looked very hurt at her insistence that he was no longer allowed to call her by her first name. "All right. Travystar," He all but whispered. "I never thought you would let something as trivial as bathroom gossip ruin our friendship."

With that, Sirius began to walk away from Bria. Bria watched him go in minor shock. "But, Sirius." She said so quietly that she was certain that he couldn't hear her. "This is far more than bathroom gossip."

Sirius just shook his head, and continued to walk away from the one girl who he had never thought he would need to leave.

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Snape was still not entirely sure what had happened with Bria two evenings ago. She had asked him out, and he had been ecstatic as she had leaned in to kiss him, but then…"Black! You ruin everything!" Snape snarled

Snape had never liked Sirius, but his hatred of him was growing as their years at Hogwarts were drawing to a close. He had everything Snape wanted. He had many loyal friends, girls who chased him everywhere, better hair, and a family that worshipped the Dark Lord. Sirius not only did not appreciate all that he had, but he was downright scornful of his family. He didn't deserve to have Bria, but every time he almost had her, he was there, and she was leaving because of him. "Black. How I loathe that name."

"Severus, why are you talking to yourself?" A small boy with watery blue eyes was staring up at him.

"I'm not talking to myself, Pettigrew. And how many times must I tell you, do not address me by my first name in public. You are only to call me by my surname."

"Right. Sorry Snape. I came to give you my report."

Snape looked at him, and then pulled him suddenly into an empty classroom. "All right, Peter. What do you have to report?"

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James walked into the Boys' Dormitories after a four hour planning session with Lily, only to find a very dejected looking Sirius, a still rather annoyed looking Remus, and no Peter. Also a still love struck Justin, and a sleeping Frank.

"Um, what's wrong with Padfoot?" James asked, putting his cloak in his wardrobe.

"He got in yet another fight with Bria." Remus explained.

"Oh dear. What was it about this time?" James sat down on the edge of Sirius' bed, only to be physically kicked off. "Ow! What was that for?" James asked, rubbing his sore bum.

"Mmmph. Fuck you." Sirius said into his blankets.

"Fuck me?" James said angrily, rubbing him bum. "What the hell, mate? All sympathy I might have previously had for you is gone, I'll let you know. I think my tailbone is fractured. Is it, Moony? Look at it and see."

"James, I am not going to look at or touch your tailbone area so you might as well pull you trousers back up."

"Fine." James said, doing so. "But I wasn't going to pull my pants all the way off, if that's what you were worried about. Do you think I'll need a cast?"

"No, James. I do not think you're doing to need a cast. Besides, unless you have a tail, I don't think that's possible."

"Well, I do have a tail bone, so it would stand to reason that I have a tail. I am just not sure where it is."

Remus rolled his eyes. "Well, James, it is in your pre-evolutionary form. If you can find that, I will not only give you a cast, but also a medal. You will deserve them both."

"Would you two bugger off?" Sirius asked into his pillows.

"No, we are not going to bugger off." James said, trying again to sit on his bed, only narrowly avoiding Sirius' foot, which was trying once more to eject him from his sleeping area. "Well, that wasn't terribly kind of you, Sirius."

"Fuck you. My bed. Get off."

"Now, now, mate. We both know that you don't mean all that. Why don't you just tell us what the problem is?" James said, patting his friend's shoulder rather more hard than he might have if Sirius had not caused his tailbone so much pain.

"The problem is Bria. Why can't she just believe that I didn't sleep with Rose? Then it would all be well again. But, no! She has to be female, and everyone knows that females blow everything out of proportion."

"Now, Sirius. That is hardly a fair accusation. Not all girls over react as badly as Bria has." Remus said, trying to talk some sense back into his lovelorn friend.

"Oh? Name one girl who wouldn't have reacted as Bria has?" Sirius challenged.

"Well, there's Emma. She is being sane about this whole situation, and I am sure she would continue to be sane even if she was in Bria's position."

"You only say that because you fancy Emma yourself. If she were truly in Bria's position, she would be trying to behead you, I am sure. Though that is still, better than trying to de-man you, at any rate."

"Why do you both believe that I fancy Emma? When have I ever said that I thought of Emma as anything other than a friend?" Remus shouted, turning slightly purple, and almost waking Frank, who, instead, just turned over and let out a loud snore.

"Wow, Moony. Way to overreact." James said, backing away from Remus ever so slightly.

Remus grunted and opened a book. "I am not overreacting. You lot are so eager to forget your own dismal love lives that you constantly make up imaginary ones for me. And it gets to be too much after a while. Why don't you stop focusing on me and my nonexistent love life and start making a bit of an effort for fix your own because it's not going to do it on its own. Now kindly shut up and leave me alone."

There was silence. And then, "Wow," said Justin, "You guys just got served."

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As this conversation was taking place, Lily walked into a female version of the same problem. Bria was lying sprawled across her comforter, mascara streaks all across her cheeks, with someone actually sitting on the edge of her bed attempting to comfort her.

"Oh dear." Lily said, taking in the scene before her. "What's happened now?"

"I walked on Sirius. And then told him not to call me Bria, and then he said he never thought I would be one to believe bathroom gossip!" Bria wailed, more mascara streaking its way across her normally pale, flawless skin.

"Oh dear. That isn't good." Lily said, trying to take a seat beside Emma.

"NO SITTING ON MY BED!" Bria shouted, as she sat up very quickly.

"Right! Sorry!" Lily said, jumping back off her bed. "But why don't you tell me the long version of the story?"

As Bria told Lily and Emma of her earlier encounter with Sirius, and how much it had hurt her. "…And then, I said that it wasn't about bathroom gossip. And he just walked away." Bria finally finished her story, and rolled over so that she could sob more effectively into her pillows. "Now what am I going to do?"

Emma and Lily exchanged glances. "Well, you could always just tell him how you feel. I mean, maybe he feels the same way. I mean, surely there is a reason he is upset that you believe Rose over him."

"No. He made his decision, and now he has to live with it. But it is not fair that I also have to live with it! I am getting back at him! Should I sleep with Justin or Snivellus?"

"Justin!" Lily shouted

"Yes. Justin! Definitely Justin." Emma quickly agreed.

"All right. That shouldn't be too terribly difficult. Except that I am disgusted by him." Bria said, sitting up and trying to fix her makeup.

"Then, Brie, don't sleep with him. You should save yourself! Yes!" Emma said, quickly warming to the idea.

"Too late." Bria admitted.

"Well, it is never to late to join a convent." Samantha suggested helpfully.

"Samantha? Why are you butting into our conversation?" Lily asked, very politely, considering her dislike of the girl.

"I just heard you talking about doing wicked, wicked things, so I decided to make a suggestion myself. She could go somewhere where everyone would accept her."

"Yeah, but why would I _want_ to do that?" Bria asked, finally remembering that she could fix her makeup with magic.

"Bria," Lily said before Samantha could answer, "I really think this is a bad idea. You'd just be doing the same thing to him as he did to you except worse."

"How on earth is sleeping with Justin any worse than sleeping with Rose, Lily? You make no sense."

"I talked to James and he says that Sirius actually didn't sleep with her."

"Oh please, how do you know he wasn't just lying? He's Sirius' best friend; it's his job to lie for him."

"I just really think that it'd be a good idea to talk to Sirius about all this before you make any rash decisions."

"Fine." Bria snapped. "I won't sleep with him. But I am taking him to the carnival."

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Wheeee! And yet another update has come forth from the abyss that is Mariah's computer! If you hope to ever again see an update, I suggest that you review. Please? We, as always, adore constructive criticism. Just, please no flames. They aren't appreciated.


	17. Of Committees and Tantrums

Chapter Seventeen

Of Committees and Tantrums

**Author's Note: And here it is. The chapter we have been waiting for for months. Be glad.**

**Disclaimer: Not ours. Well, the story is, but not the characters or locations.**

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Lily sat with her friends, trying to talk some more sense into Bria, and then trying to get Emma to agree to go to the carnival with Remus.

"Come on, Em." Bria wheedled. "It would be fun. You could go with Remus, I could go with either Justin or Snape, and Lils will be going with James. It will be lovely. You already said you would. No backing out now."

"I just don't feel right doing that. I feel as though if I asked him to go with me, I would be putting him in an uncomfortable place."

"Oh, Emma. You're being ridiculous. There is only one reason that you would POSSIBLY being making Remus 'uncomfortable', and I am sure that he wouldn't mind that discomfort too terribly much." Bria insisted.

"Oh my." Lily said. "This is Remus you're talking about, Bria. It does change the circumstances to some extent."

"Not really. He is still male. Nothing is really any different than if I was talking about James or Sirius or Justin, or Frank, or Rose."

"Um, Rose is not a guy." Emma pointed out.

"She might as well be for all her…"

"Needs?" Lily suggested.

"Exactly."

"No. No, Bria." Emma said, "Remus is indeed male but that doesn't mean he's just like all the other blokes around here who can only send blood to one part of their body at once."

"So you admit that it's possible that the blood is not only going to his brain?" Bria said.

"No! That is not what I meant at all. You just enjoy twisting my words."

Lily and Bria laughed.

"Stop. Don't laugh."

"I'm sorry, Em," Lily managed, "I'm not just laughing at you. Just, the image of Remus is – it's – hehe!"

"Shut up." Emma said, trying to hid her own grin. "It's not funny."

Bria snorted which set Lily off again.

Emma bit her lip but a giggle escaped. "Okay, okay! Fine! It's a little bit funny! But just a little bit!"

"Or a big bit! Hahaha, you never know!" Bria exclaimed

And at that point Emma gave up. _Okay_, she admitted to herself, _perhaps it_ was _a bit funny_.

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Later that evening, Lily and James were getting together to figure out whom to assign to which 'volunteering' departments for the carnival preparations.

"Okay, how about Emma for the food committee?" Lily suggested.

"Yeah. Emma would be good for the food, but we need someone else to work with her." James agreed.

"Okay. How about Remus?"

"Yes! Definitely!" James said, laughing.

"Okay," Lily said, laughing. "But who for the petting zoo?"

"Well, Bria hates animals, so she's out. So is Sirius." James said, trying to think of someone who didn't hate animals.

"Well, how about Rose?" Lily suggested. "She probably hates animals, but she can still work with them."

"All right. That works. But who for the decorations? Bria and Sirius?"

"Ooh, I don't know, James. You know how things have been between them. I want them to work things out just as much as you do but I've got a feeling that we might not want to put them on the same committee. I don't want to find either of them hanged by streamers or stabbed with scissors."

"Well, neither do I. But maybe they'll be able to work things out if they have a reason to be together for enough time to listen to each other."

Lily considered this and concluded that James was probably right. "All right. Bria and Sirius in charge of the decorations."

"Okay. How many more committees do we have?" James asked, trying in vain to count them on his fingers.

"Three, if you include the all over committee, which we are in charge of." Lily said, consulting her list."

"Okay, but what are they?" James asked.

"Rides, Games and Activities, and then the all over committee, and we are the only people in that one."

"Right." James nodded. "So, Justin can do Games and Activities with Samantha, and Frank and Alice can work together on the rides, since Alice is muggle born, isn't she? So that means she will know what a ride is."

"Right." Lily said, marking it down on one of her many lists. "That will work perfectly. And then we can set out sign-up sheets outside the Great Hall so that anyone from any house can sign up to help."

"Great. So is there anything else we need to work on?"

"Not until we have seen each of the committees rough plan. So it looks as though we are done planning. For now. How's Sirius? I heard about what happened."

James considered for a moment. "I need a cast on my tail."

Lily looked at him for a moment. "James, I don't understand you. You don't have a tail, and that doesn't very well answer my question."

"Yes, it really does. He was so angry he broke my tailbone. It hurt, but Remus wouldn't check to see if it had a fracture."

"…Right. Well, not doing so well, then?" Lily asked after a great pause.

"No. Not really. He is really hurt that Bria won't let him call her by her first name anymore. And that she completely believes that he would sleep with someone that he so obviously hates. He is just feeling very confused, too. He doesn't get why she won't let him apologize."

"Bria is…" Lily thought about Bria's reaction and decided it was probably for the best if Sirius' didn't find out about Bria's plan to take Justin to the carnival. "Bria is really upset as well. She's under the impression that Sirius has sealed both of their fates and that there's no going back."

James exhaled. "Well, maybe them working together will change their minds."

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"Just give me the list of thing to decorate and go away, Black! I don't need your help thinking of _colours_!"

"I think it's pretty evident that you're having a hard time thinking at all, Travystar!"

"Black! That was completely uncalled for!"

As it turned out, Lily had been right, and putting Sirius and Bria together on a committee had been a bad plan. No one had been willing to sign up to work with them, because the entire school knew they were fighting, and no one wanted to be caught in the middle of one of their fights.

"Besides, it is for _Halloween_! It is not terribly difficult to think up colour schemes for a holiday with colours already built in!" Bria continued, walking toward Sirius, with a bag of streamers in her hand. "Now, since Lily said I wasn't allowed to just hex you and make you turn into a bat, or something like that, you can decide what width streamers we need, and leave the rest to someone with actual _taste_."

"Travystar, you know you're not supposed to take things out on me just because it's 'that time of the month' again, so stop acting like a complete and total twat and stop ordering me around!" Sirius said, meeting Bria in the middle of the mess they had made while trying to find the streamers Lily had conjured before leaving.

"You stop acting like an overbearing prick, and I will stop acting like a 'twat'! But since that will NEVER happen, you have no RIGHT to tell me what to or not to do! Now, _choose the fucking streamers_!" At this point Bria was shouting up at Sirius, because they were so close they were practically touching.

"Do NOT speak to me in that manner, _Travystar_!" Sirius practically spit out her name, obviously sick of having to call her by her surname. "I will NOT choose your fucking streamers! You have had a stick up your arse since that day you saw me and Rose in Hogsmeade, which is positively absurd, because I have never, nor shall I ever, feel anything towards Rose, other than contempt, so you should just come down off your fucking high horse! I did not stop talking to you because you wanted to date Justin!"

"No! You just fucking FORBADE ME TO DATE! It is not your fucking decision! You're not my fucking _mum_ and even if you _were_ I would never listen to such a ridiculous demand! Why don't you just admit it! You were jealous that I would pay any attention to anyone other than you! You need so much fucking attention, that you can't even let your friends live their own lives! You just need them to attend to your every-fucking-whim!"

Bria twisted on her heal, storming from the room, and slamming every door she could reach, while Sirius tore down every streamer Bria had already hung up.

It wasn't at all satisfying.

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Rose stood in the pigpen, trying to identify the pigs. She carefully studied a furry animal with a long neck. As she peered at it, it spit on her. "EW! What kind of animal ARE you?" She picked up the animal identification book lying at her feet, and started flipping through the pages trying to identify the animal.

"Alpaca? That is disgusting. I wanted to work on decorations with Sirius! Instead I'm stuck with a stinky, spitting…ALPACA!" She said, stamping her foot, and flinging the book to the ground.

She stomped out of the pigpen, and went over to the girls' bathroom to wash the alpaca spit off her clothes. When she returned to the petting zoo she noticed something was wrong. There were no animals, and the gate to the pigpen was wide open.

"The Alpaca has escaped!" Rose shouted, as she dashed out the door, and into the corridors.

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Emma and Remus stood in a small room, surrounded by food and drinks and tables.

Emma glanced around the room for the hundredth time. "Okay, we've got food. We've got tables. Why do I feel like we're forgetting something?"

Remus, too, looked around the room, trying to assess what they were missing. "Wait… Where are the bowls?"

"Why should I know? You were in charge of bowls. I was in charge of tables."

Remus turned to look at her. "No, I was in charge of tables. _You_ were in charge of bowls."

Emma opened her mouth to respond, when they heard thundering hooves in the corridors. They turned to look, and saw an unbelievable sight. Dozens of animals were racing through the castle, followed by a frantic Rose. "Wait, Alpaca! I'm sorry I called you stinky!"

There was a silence in which they both stood, staring, and then they turned back to each other, and the problem at hand.

Emma was the first to speak. "Well, now we have no bowls, and twice as many tables as we need."

Remus shook his head in amusement. "Well, let's transfigure half the tables in to bowls."

"I was just thinking that, Remus."

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Alice stood before a large Ferris wheel, writing something on her clipboard when Frank came up behind her and tapped her on the shoulder.

"Hey, Alice."

She turned to face him. "Yes?"

"What IS that?"

"It's a Ferris wheel. What does it look like?"

"A large spinning object of death."

"Frank, look at how slow it's going. How could it possibly kill you? Muggles go on them all the time, and they are fine."

"I still say it looks like death." Frank said, folding his arms over his chest, and going to inspect another ride.

"Alice! This one is really fast! And it also spins!" Frank said, staring in horror at the Scrambler.

"Yes, well, that one is a bit dangerous. But it still won't kill you. I promise." Alice said, walking over to join him.

Frank started backing away from the ride. "You know, I've been thinking about it. Maybe the muggles only live on these rides because they are muggles. Maybe they were DESIGNED to kill wizards."

"Frank, don't be ridiculous. Of course they weren't designed to kill wizards. I've gone on them a hundred times. They are fun." Alice said, shaking her head in exasperation. "Why don't we test one of them, and you can see just safe they are. Pick whichever one scares you the least."

Frank considered each of the rides in turn, and finally decided on the one with the large fake horses. "This one looks less deadly than the wheel of death, at least."

Alice gave a small laugh, and took his hand to lead him onto the ride. "All right. The carousel it is."

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Justin was lying upside down on a couch, with a list of game ideas in his hand. "What about bobbing for apples?"

Samantha looked at him in horror. "No! Absolutely not! How terribly sinful!"

Justin sighed, and rolled his eyes, and then went back to his list. "What about Pin-the-Tail-On-the-Donkey?"

"No! The poor animal!"

"Costume contest."

"No."

"Why not?"

Samantha stared at him as if he was rather slow. "Someone might dress as Satan."

"Well, what _can_ we do?"

Samantha considered this for several moments. "We could have a bible reading. Anyone could pick their favorite passage, and read it aloud to an audience."

Justin rubbed his temples. "They must hate me. Like, really. They must have tried to find the worst torture possible for me, and this is what they decided on."

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Lily and James sat, looking over their lists one more time. "All right." Lily said, folding the lists back up, and putting them in her robes. "I think we're ready to go check up on everyone."

James stood up quickly, and offered his arm to Lily. "Let's go."

Lily laughed, and took his arm. "Who should we check on first?"

"Let's check on Justin and Samantha first."

They walked over to where the two Activities Planners were sitting but when Justin looked up at them, a wild look in his eye, and shouted "YOU ACTUALLY HAATE MEE" they quickly changed their direction. "We'll look in on them later, yeah?"

"Yeah."

"How about Emma and Remus? They are generally rather sane." Lily suggested.

They quickly turned toward the assigned room, and away from the crazed Justin. As they rounded to final corner, they heard Remus. "What else can we transfigure to make bowls?"

"Remus, we have transfigured everything in the room that we don't REALLY need! We just need to go out and GET bowls."

Lily and James walked into the room, to discover the two standing there amongst a sea of food, about three tables, and too few bowls. Lily quickly noticed that Emma was not wearing the necklace that she had put on that morning. James noticed that Remus was no longer wearing socks.

"Um, what is going on here?" Lily asked.

Emma looked up, rather resembling a deer caught in the headlights. "Um, we are…transfiguring everything into bowls. We forgot them." She explained, hanging her head in shame.

James looked at them incredulously. "You _both_ forgot bowls? But… you're supposed to be the sane ones!"

"James, it's all right. At least neither of them think we hate them for some reason."

"Well, we are taking care of it. We transfigured most of the tables, Emma's necklace, my socks, two marshmallows, and a goblet into bowls." Remus said.

"Right…well, I can see you two are on top of everything, so we'll just go to the kitchens and get you some bowls from the house elves, and leave you be." Lily said, after a long moment of silence. With that, she and James left.

After a few moments Emma and Remus looked at each other. "You know, that's not a half bad idea."

Lily and James continued down the corridors, trying to decide whether to visit Bria and Sirius or Rose next.

"Um, let's check in on Bria and Sirius next. May as well not prolong the inevitable."

"James, you know the word 'inevitable'?" Lily asked, in minor astonishment.

"I do?"

"I should think so, as you just used it."

"Well, then yes. I do." James said, feeling rather pleased at having known such a seemingly impressive word.

The two continued down toward what was sure to be the worst visit. But upon arriving at the room Bria and Sirius were supposed to be decorating first, they were shocked to discover it empty.

Lily was the first to speak. "They left. And they didn't even do any decorating."

"No, no. There are some streamers. Dangling from the overpass. Where someone hung them. And someone else tore them down. Just…hanging there. Blowing in the wind."

"James, if streamer could be alive, those would be dead ones."

"Hey, that sort of sounds like something I would say."

Lily turned to glare at her companion. "James, this was a dreadful idea. Now they must hate each other more than ever."

James considered this for a moment. "Or they realized how they feel about each other."

"James! Why would there be dead streamers if that was the case?"

"Um, I don't know. They tore them down while fleeing the room in a mad passion?" James suggested feebly.

"James, this is Bria and Sirius we are talking about. That did not happen."

"Well, I suppose. Let's just fix these streamers before going to check on Rose." James suggested, trying to make Lily realize that he could be just as mature as she could. Or at least as mature as Remus.

Lily shrugged. "All right. Did they leave any streamers here?"

James looked around. "Yeah, they did. There are about a million different streamers in black and orange right over there. I'll magic them up."

Once they were done, the two started off toward the animal corral near the dungeons. They arrived there, and immediately realized that something was wrong. There were not animals in sight. And Rose was gone.

"Wow. I don't think a single committee has done what we asked them to." James said after a second.

"No, I don't think so. But to lose the animals?"

"Well, let's just summon them. Accio petting zoo!"

Within a couple of moments, all the animals were restored to their pen, and the gate was shut. Within another moment a panting Rose showed up.

"I was in the bathroom to wash off the spit, and then they were gone! The stinky Alpaca was leading them to freedom! So I chased them! And we were running, and we were running, and then, all of a sudden, they were flying!"

Lily and James just stared for several moments until, at last, James found his voice. "Well, they are back now. I think you should take a break. How about in twenty minutes you come back and feed the animals. Don't forget to lock the gate when you leave though."

"Right. But you tell that Alpaca to stop spitting on me." Rose agreed.

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**YAY!! We actually updated! You must be proud! We are so, terribly sorry that it has taken us this long. But this is a long chapter, so mayhap you forgive us? We will update again soon, and hopefully more regularly for a bit. Anyway, please, please read and review. Well, you've already read, so please review. And please no flames.**


	18. Revelations and Almosts

Chapter Eighteen

Revelations and Almosts

This chapter is dedicated to Maggie. Because she asked, and because she has no hope of ever being a lady, I felt I should give her this.

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"Have I mentioned yet tonight how lovely you look?" Snape asked, looking down at Bria, still having a difficult time believing that she had agreed to going to the carnival with him.

"Yes, Snape. Many times." Bria said, also having a difficult time believing that she had actually agreed to go to the carnival with him. "Do you want to go on a ride?"

"No. I detest all muggle things." Snape said, trying to mask his revulsion.

"Well, would you like to go to the…bible reading?" Bria asked. Justin and Samantha had eventually compromised and Samantha got her bible reading, but Justin got his sane activities.

"No." Snape said, providing no further explanation.

"Well, what would you like to do then?" Bria asked feeling rather exasperated.

"We could…you know, get out of here." Snape suggested after a time.

"…Um, no. I am going to get cotton candy. You are staying here. Stay. Good Slytherin." Bria said, quickly scampering away.

Bria slowed her gait as she escaped her insane date, and neared the cotton candy stand. "One blue, please." She turned, and saw Sirius also standing at the stand. "Oh, it's you."

Sirius turned to look at her. "Yeah. It's me. Where's your little death eater date?"

"_Severus_ is standing where I left him, like a good little student. He actually listens to me, and respects me. Unlike _some_ people I could mention."

They stood glaring at each other, completely failing to notice the people waving cotton candy in their faces.

"Bria, I miss you. Can't we stop being fools and go back to how we were?" Sirius asked her, beseechingly.

They both stood looking shocked at his words. "What?" Bria asked, practically in a whisper.

"Um, yeah. I miss you, Brie. We never fight."

"Sirius, I… I just… I can't! I just can't forgive you for what you did." Bria said.

With these words she ran off, back in the direction from which she came, leaving Sirius and her cotton candy behind.

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Peter stood near the Ferris wheel, wondering what made it stay up. "Hey, Pete." Remus said, coming up behind him with his "date", Emma. "What are you doing standing beneath the Ferris wheel?"

Peter turned to look at him. "What keep it from plummeting and killing everyone on it?"

Emma gave a little laugh. "A small metal device, actually. And physics, or so my mum told me."

_But one flick of the wrist, and all those people would die. _Peter thought to himself.

"Whatcha thinkin' about?" Remus asked again, as Peter had been silent for several long moments.

Peter stopped breathing for a moment, trying to think of a good lie. "Popcorn. I think I'll go get some." And with this, Peter dashed off in the direction of the popcorn, suddenly realizing that he was quite famished.

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Remus stared after his friend for a long time. "What in the world is wrong with him these days?" He wondered aloud, forgetting for a moment that he was standing with Emma right there next to him.

"Has he been acting like this for long?" Emma asked, clearly not forgetting about her own existence.

Remus shook himself from his stupor. "Yeah, actually. He has been. He keeps staring off into space, thinking to himself, but then when he's asked, he claims to have been thinking about food, and he runs off."

"Right. Well, that's odd. Maybe you should monitor him, and make sure he's not becoming anorexic." Emma suggested.

"Em, I really doubt Wormtail's developing an eating disorder. He is constantly eating." Remus said, trying desperately to hide the laughter in his voice.

"It could happen! Boys have issues too! It's not just girls." Emma insisted, defensively. "Besides, he has been acting peculiarly lately. It has to be something!"

"Yes, it is certainly something, but not an eating disorder. Not Wormy." Remus insisted vehemently. "Besides, we all know that if anyone had an eating disorder it would be Sirius, because we all know how fat he is." Remus finished sarcastically.

Just as he was finishing his sentence Sirius walked by. "What? You think I'm fat?"

"No, Sirius. You're not fat. I wasn't being serious."

"I mean, I know I eat more than some people, but I also exercise a lot. I am toned."

"Sirius, I did not call you fat."

"I mean, sure I weigh more than you. But what have you lifted in the last day? A book? I lift weights every morning. Proper weights. Not papery weights."

"Sirius, listen to me. I do NOT think you're fat." Remus tried one final time to get through to his mental friend.

Sirius looked in disgust at the candy he was holding. "Here. Have my cotton candy, Rem." He said, handing his candy over.

"I do not want cotton candy, Sirius. Besides, I am sure you need sustenance after all the exercising you have been doing today." Remus said, laughter clearly evident on his face.

"Oh, now you're making fun! Aren't you a kind friend! That is it! I am on a diet." Sirius said, flinging his blue candy to the ground, and storming off. Well, more speed walking, actually. It burns calories.

Remus stared after his other friend for a long moment before turning back to Emma. "What just happened?" He asked her.

"Both of our points were just proven."

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"Wheee!"

…

"Whee!"

…

"Whee!"

"Frank, get off the carousel!" Alice shouted at her boyfriend. "If I had known that this would happen I never would have let you on the stupid ride to begin with!"

"But, Alice! It's so much fun!" Frank exclaimed as he passed her again.

"No, Frank. Off. Look. I have a caramel apple." She showed him the piece of candy.

"Ooh. Thanks." Frank tried to grab it as he passed once again.

"No, this is for once you get OFF the ride. Not for while you're on it."

"But, Alice. I want it now!" Frank whined.

Alice shook her head. "No. Not until you get off. Once you're done we can try one of the other rides."

Frank gasped. "But, Alice!" He cried, hugging the carousel horse he had been riding since the day before. "I love old Steven! I couldn't abandon him!"

"It's okay. He'll acquire a new rider, and be fine. And you will get your apple. And I will get my boyfriend back, but this is really more about you right now."

Frank looked hesitant. "Well, I suppose. If we can go on another ride once I've finished my apple."

"Yes. I'll even let you pick." Alice said, feeling rather relieved that she had finally found a way to coax Frank off his ride.

After he had finished his caramel apple they started wandering around the carnival looking for another ride to go on. Finally he stopped at the biggest ride there. The roller coaster looked huge and terrifying, but it had horses painted on the sides, which reminded Frank of Steven. "Let's go on this one!" Frank said, as he started tugging Alice toward the line.

"Oh, no! Frank, do we have to? I'm scared of roller coasters."

"Oh, Alice. It's okay. You said yourself; muggles go on these things all the time. Besides, you'll have me with you." Frank said, putting his arm around his girlfriend, and steering her toward the huge ride.

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Samantha was sitting, overseeing the bible reading with a look of rapture on her face. Someone was reading her favorite psalm, and it put her in a wondrous mood. As the student finished, she stood up and began clapping emphatically.

"That was wonderful! I have never heard any passage read with more true feelings. Not even in church." She said, rushing over to the youth.

Before she could continue, or even actually reach the student, Justin walked over, blocking her path. "How's your bible thing? Anyone having any actual fun?"

"Yes, actually. Thanks you for your inquiry. I believe that many people have been inspired to seek the path of Our Lord. It is a shame Bria could not be here, for I know of few people who could use guidance more than she." Samantha said, holding her bible to her chest.

"…Right. Well, I am glad that this isn't as bloody boring as it looks from over at the apple bobbing station. Once you get an apple, you can stick it with a Popsicle stick and put either candy or caramel on it. People seem to be having fun." Justin said, feeling rather smug that his ideas were drawing more people than Samantha's. He still didn't think that anyone in their right mind would want to listen to bible passages at a carnival, but that was mostly in the past.

"Yes. I am sure people are. I do believe that I saw Bria with Severus earlier. Maybe you could convince them to come and visit this station when you see them?" Samantha suggested, still thinking of the poor lost souls in the crowd.

Justin visibly paled. "Bria came with _Snape_?" His voice was scarcely above a whisper.

"Well, I believe so, but knowing her, she might have brought a different date and dumped him somewhere." Samantha said, barely concealing her disgust with her old friend's antics.

"Why would she come with him? Why not me? What's wrong with me? I would kill even to be just a notch in Bria's bedpost! I mean, to be with such a divine being for even one night would be heaven."

"No! You must repent for such sinful thoughts, Justin!" Samantha cried, horrified that anyone could actually have such thoughts. "The Lord will forgive you if you give up your wicked ways now. This is what my pastor told me last summer. The Lord embraces all who embrace Him."

"I think I need to go find her. I need to know why. Why doesn't she want me, even for a time."

"No! You could never give yourself fully to one who is not wed to you! It is sinful! Justin! Repent! REPENT!" Samantha ran quickly after him as he left to find Bria and Snape, shouting all the time about repentance."

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Bria and Snape walked briskly toward the haunted house, which was the only ride Snape would even consider going on.

"Are you sure you don't want to go on the roller coaster? I bet it would be scarier than any lame haunted house, anyway." Bria asked, in one final attempt to do something fun with her date.

"Bria, surely you wouldn't be scared by a muggle contraption? Even wizards have haunted houses. No self respecting wizard would even think about going on a roller coaster." Snape said with contempt.

"Every wizard here has gone on it, I bet." Bria muttered, but she continued to allow him to drag her along behind him.

When they finally arrived at the ride, Snape insisted upon asking about a hundred questions before boarding.

"How long is this ride?"

"I think it's under five minutes." The ticket taker answered in a bored manner.

"Has it been spelled in anyway, or is it purely muggle?"

"I don't know. I am just here to take tickets."

"What are the seats like compared to muggle contraptions?"

"Just here for tickets."

"What…"

As Bria listened to Snape and the ticket taker prattle on, seemingly endlessly, she couldn't help but let her mind wander back to Sirius. Had he been serious when he had said he missed her, and he wanted to go back to being friends? What about Rose? Could she actually forgive him if he actually had slept with her? She knew the answer. No, she couldn't. But what if he had been telling the truth, and not the skanky American? Then she would certainly forgive him, because she realized now that she had missed him, too. She had missed him more than she ever would have been willing to admit, had he not admitted to missing her first.

"Bria! Come now." Snape's voice snapped her back to reality.

"Right. I am still here with Snape." She muttered to herself.

"Yes, you are. I realize this. Now, come to the ride." Snape was looking at her strangely.

"Right. The haunted house."

"Bria, you truly must stop muttering to yourself. I am not certain it is considered healthy." Snape said, looking at her not with concern, but with mild disgust that she should display such a flaw of character.

"Right. I'm coming then, Severus." Bria said, as she walked to the entrance of the ride, and to her waiting date.

As they sat down, the door closed around them, plunging them into complete darkness. The ride started forward, and Snape slowly put his arm around Bria in an unsure gesture. Bria did not shrug him off. As the ride continued Bria felt that Snape was coming closer and closer to her. It was to Bria's great relief when the ride finally released them back to the semi-dark of the carnival.

"Did you find it as scary as it was advertised to be?" Snape asked as he slowly steered her away from the crowds, and toward a more secluded section of the grounds.

"I have seen much more terrifying things than that. I found it bloody dull." Bria said, not paying any attention to where they were going. "Um, where are we? Where did everyone else go?" Bria asked, finally noticing that Snape had steered her away from everything.

"At last, we are alone. I have been wishing to have a moment alone with you all evening." Snape said, turning to face her.

"Now, why the bloody hell would you want to be alone with me? I am not a terribly good conversationalist. Surely it would be more interesting to seek out other company." Bria suggested, beginning to feel slightly apprehensive.

"Well, it is not conversation I seek. You see, Bria, I am not interested in you for your intellect. I am much more interested in you for your reputation." Snape put a hand on her shoulder.

"I should have gone to the carnival with Justin." Bria said, trying to shrug his hand off.

Snape leaned in to kiss her, but Bria dusked under his arm. "Snape, leave me alone. I am not interested."

"I don't think that that really matters, Bria. You see, I don't think there is anyone around anymore. I am in control of this situation." And he grabbed her again.

Sirius, who had been wandering away from the carnival to avoid the temptation of junk food, was walking far away from everywhere else when he thought he heard someone shouting. As he wandered near the sound he realized he could just make out what the person was saying. "No! Get off me!" The voice sounded like Bria!

"No! Bad Slytherin! I said get away! I'll hex you! I will! Get the fuck away from me, you slimy git!"

Yes, he was certain now. Bria was in trouble, and he's be damned if he was going to let anything happen to her. Especially since she was with one of his mortal enemies. "Hang on Bria." He muttered.

He found them incredibly quickly, and what he saw completely disgusted him. Snape was obviously trying to force himself upon Bria, and was winning. Bria was a small girl, and, although she was feisty, she could be easily over powered. He ran over, and punched Snape in the jaw.

"You stay away form Bria, you great git!" He shouted, backing away from his fallen foe.

Snape stumbled, trying to stand again. "Get out of here, Black. She doesn't need you to defend her."

"Obviously she does! I will not let anyone hurt my Bria!" Sirius said, feeling furious that he had ever pushed Bria so far from him that she felt she needed to date SNAPE to make a point.

_Did he just call me HIS Bria?_ Bria thought, completely forgetting the immediate danger, and just backing in the thought of being Sirius's.

"She's not yours, Black. She doesn't want you, or else she would have gone to the carnival with you. Instead she came with me, so just back off." Snape had finally gotten to his feet, and was drawing his wand.

"Expelliarmus!" Bria shouted from the sides.

Sirius turned to stare at her. "He's right. I don't reckon you do need a whole lot of protecting. I didn't even think about using a wand."

"Stupefy! Yes. That's why I am better than you." Bria said, grimacing at the sight of her unconscious attacker.

Sirius rushed over to her side. "I am so glad you're safe. I would have killed myself, had he hurt you."

Bria stood still in his arms for a moment, before returning the embrace. Then she turned her face to his, and kissed him as she had secretly longed to for months.

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Hey, y'all. Thanks so much for all the lovely reviews in advance. About reviews, I just love receiving them, but I would love them even more if I could get some constructive criticism. Don't hesitate to tell us what parts you liked, and what you didn't, and what you'd love to see in the future. We love feedback. We'll update again as soon as we can, but that probably won't be for somewhere in the vicinity of the next month, so we hope the thrills of this chapter are enough to hold you over.


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